Destroyed
by sockospice
Summary: Evan Bourne has a terrible secret. Randy Orton and John Cena are determined to find out what it is and help him, but in doing so will they cause more damage? Slash fic.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Destroyed (1/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

a/n: first multi part story I've written in ages. We'll see where it goes. 

"He looks exhausted," John commented to Randy as they both watched Evan on the monitor. He was stood in the ring awaiting the announcement of his opponent. They both knew this was Evan's last night on Raw for a while, as he would be having surgery the next day on an injury that had been niggling at him for months. There was something else though, for the last few weeks or so Evan had been distant, nervy and insecure. He hadn't been the Evan that everyone knew and loved, but he wouldn't let anyone close enough to find out what was really wrong.

Randy rubbed the back of his neck, strain and frustration showing on his own face, "I don't think he's been sleeping. And he won't talk to me. God knows I've tried."

"Do you think he's worried about his spot? I know he was pissed that his push got lost in the shuffle, but there are still big plans for him, I've told him that," Cena watched CM Punk enter the arena and his focus shifted to Randy.

"I don't know. We've both reassured him, I think he knows that we're always gonna have his back. There's just... I dunno, I've got this gut feeling that there's something badly wrong here." Randy took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to calm the sinking feeling in his stomach that he was missing something very obvious and very bad.

"We can't let him go without talking about it." John was as worried as Randy was now. Orton's gut instinct was rarely wrong.

"I know, I'll grab him when he's finished up and we'll wait for you in my locker room, ok? I'll try to talk to him while you have your match," Randy smiled wryly, "I'm not sure that both of us quizzing him together is going to get him talking. Remember Ted?" Their dual interrogation of DiBiase Junior as to his intentions in his relationship with Cody had almost had the man flee the state in fear.

"OK, just be gentle with him."

"Aren't I always?" Randy grinned, and both of them turned their attention back to the screen.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo 

"Hey Ev, you sold that well, the fans are really gonna miss you," Randy jogged to catch up with the younger man and fell into step by his side.

"Yeah," Evan barely looked up at Randy, "well I can't wait to get away."

Randy's breath caught in his throat. The Evan he knew would never say something like that. His instinct was right, something was terribly wrong. He followed the high flyer to the locker rooms and noticed that Evan hesitated before entering the communal room. "Go grab your stuff, you can use my room."

Relief flooded Evan's face, and he nodded, "thanks, I'll be one minute." He was less than that, practically running out of the room clutching his bag.

Randy led the way down the corridor to his private room, pushing the door open and allowing Evan to enter first. He didn't see Evan's eyes flicking nervously from side to side, checking the room before entering, ensuring that they were alone.

Evan dropped his bag and sat down on the low wooden bench that ran the length of the room, resting his head against the cold brickwork and closing his eyes. Randy wasn't sure what to do – Evan had been so jumpy recently he didn't want to make things worse, but at the same time he wanted his young friend to know that whatever it was that was happening, he wasn't alone. He sat down next to Evan, close enough that the young man knew he was there but respecting his personal space.

"Talk to me Ev."

It wasn't an order, but a request from a worried friend, Evan recognised that. He wanted to talk, wanted to share his burden, he just didn't know how. Randy was a good friend; a good listener, despite his stoic and cool exterior, but this was beyond anything they'd ever broached before, and he didn't want to risk their friendship. Sometimes these past few weeks he'd felt like it was the only thing he had left. His job was being taken from him, his self confidence had gone, he felt like he'd lost his very self. He couldn't risk anything else.

"I'm ok," he felt Randy stiffen next to him as the lie left his lips, "I will be ok," he corrected.

"I know you'll be ok, but I'm worried about you right now."

"Don't worry about me Randy, I'll be fine as soon as I'm away from him... from here," he corrected quickly. Realising that Randy had immediately picked up on his error, he held his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. He knew there was no way that Orton would give up until he knew the truth, not now that he'd let slip that someone was the problem. He couldn't tell though, as much as he wanted to share his burden.

Randy studied Evan carefully, he could see defeat and fear radiating from the smaller man. "Who is it?"

Evan just shook his head, still refusing to look at his friend.

"Please, Evan I can't fix things unless you tell me who it is that's bothering you," tentatively, Randy placed one hand on Evan's knee, hoping to offer some comfort.

Evan stood up like he'd been electrocuted, before taking a few deep breaths and walking over to the other side of the room to the sink, where he stared at himself in the mirror, hardly recognising the person staring back at him. "This isn't something you can fix Randy."

Undeterred, Randy followed Evan and stood behind him, catching his eye in the reflection in the mirror, "you look so tired Ev."

The high flyer forced a crooked grin, "gee thanks."

"You know what I mean," Randy returned the smile, "You haven't been sleeping, you're jumpy, you're so down, I want to see my favourite aerialist smile again."

"I'll be ok," Evan repeated, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. He turned around to face the champion, looking up at him with a half smile.

Randy nodded and stood awkwardly looking at Evan, wanting to pull him into a hug but not sure that the younger man would welcome the physical contact. Evan recognised and appreciated this, and moved closer to Randy, resting his head on his chest and closing his eyes as Randy reacted to this by pulling his tattooed arms around him, hoping that he could at least provide some comfort and respite from whatever torment Evan was currently suffering.

Evan relaxed into the touch, the first time he had been relaxed for longer than he could care to remember. Randy's arms were strong and comforting, and he felt safe. He was so lost in his own head that it took a while to hear Randy's soft murmured words.

"I worry about you, Ev. I want to make things right and I want you to be ok, you mean a lot to me and I'll always be here for you, nothing is so bad that would ever make me think different of you. Whenever you want to talk I'll be here, I promise."

Evan felt so close to breaking down and telling Randy everything, but he couldn't. There was too much at risk. Instead he just pushing himself closer to Randy, feeling the older man instinctively hold him tighter, and he allowed the contact to soothe and relax him. Eventually he pulled away and turned back to the mirror, again catching Randy's eyes in the reflection.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Randy smiled, "no problem." He knew now was not the time to push, so he changed the subject quickly, "you got plans for tonight?"

"Nothing special, why?"

"Me and John were going to get a takeout and some beers and chill if you wanna join us?"

Evan nodded, "I'd like that," it would keep his mind off other things, at least. He'd distanced himself from his friends recently, and had missed the company. He'd missed Randy especially, more than he would even admit to himself. They'd always been close since Evan had joined the Raw brand, sharing childhood memories of a shared city even though they'd not known each other at the time, and there was a connection between them that they both ignored, too scared to fully confront what could be if they gave their feelings a chance.

"Good. We'll wait for John and as soon as he's done we'll get the hell out of here, ok?"

"Sure. I'd better get dressed," Evan grabbed his bag and pulled on some sweat pants over his ring gear, and threw on a t shirt. "I'll shower when I get back."

Randy nodded. At least he'd got Evan talking to him and spending time with him again. Even if he didn't get to the bottom of what was bothering Evan, they'd reconnected and that was the main thing. Evan's friendship meant too much to lose.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Destroyed (2/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely). 

They arranged to meet in Randy's room a couple of hours later, John bringing the beers and Randy sorting the food. They both insisted that Evan just needed to bring himself and as it was his last night on tour for a while it was their treat. Evan reluctantly and eventually agreed, and made his way to his room. He savoured the solitude and hated it. When alone, people weren't asking questions, but when alone anything could happen.

Standing in the shower he let the almost scalding water fall over him, the steam soothing the ache in his shoulder and clearing his mind somewhat. He was looking forward to spending the evening with Randy and John and he had faith in Randy that he wouldn't push him to talk. He wanted to, but it was better, safer for all concerned if he didn't. He just wanted to enjoy being able to spend some time with two people he trusted and liked.

Evan eventually dragged himself out of the shower and dressed, noticing out of the corner of his eye that his phone was showing a new message received. Picking it up, the sender and the words sent a shiver down his spine.

U may b out of action but the warning stands. Tell no1.

Evan threw his phone across the room in frustration. He realised that this wasn't going to end, no matter what he did, and that thought filled him with fear and horror. Good mood shattered, Evan tried to control his feelings and get himself calm enough to get through the evening. Taking a deep breath, he made his way to Randy's room, trying to avoid the sinking feeling in the stomach. 

xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox 

He met John in the elevator with a fake smile.

"Hey kid," Evan shook his head, John always called him kid even though there wasn't that much of an age difference, "ready for some bad movies, bad jokes, good company and beer?"

"Sure thing, want a hand with those bottles?" Evan took one of the bags and followed John down the corridor.

"Ortz, you decent?" John shouted, knocking loudly on the door.

"Yeah yeah hold on," Randy eventually came to the door, rolling his eyes at John's impatience. "Come on in guys, I was just about to order room service, there's a pizza restaurant downstairs. That ok?"

Evan and John both nodded and followed Randy into the room, both grabbing beers while Randy ordered the food. They settled on the couch, watching the man in front of them as he wandered about while talking on the phone, changing his mind about 5 times about what he wanted before eventually making a decision and hanging up. He grabbed a beer and threw himself on the bed, grinning at the two men watching him.

"So what do we have planned then?"

John shrugged, "bad movies, I have a set of cards if you want a game."

"No way," Evan interrupted, "I am not playing cards with you two." Seeing the looks of innocence and incredulity on Randy and John's faces he continued, "Randy cheats and John you change the rules if you're losing."

"I do not cheat," Randy replied indignantly.

"You so do Ortz," John laughed, "I don't change the rules though, you guys just play the wrong rules is all."

"Whatever, I'm not playing cards." Evan was firm on that, so they agreed to stick to the movies available on hotel tv. Not that they'd end up watching them, they never did; the chat always flowed, with bad jokes, gossip, stories of their past careers. John and Randy had been friends for years, and Evan had clicked with the both of them, and had swifly become the third line in the triangle.

The beers flowed, the laughter grew more raucous, and Evan almost forgot his troubles, but sometimes he'd see Randy's hooded eyes staring at him; not with pity, but with care and something else that he didn't recognise, wasn't sure he could name.

When John started repeating his jokes, as he always did when he got drunk, Randy knew it was time for him to leave. John could hold his drink up to a point, but when he reached that point he needed sending in the right direction otherwise he'd end up asleep in the hotel lobby, in his car, pretty much anywhere except where he was supposed to be. Evan stood up and John enveloped him in a huge hug, his strong arms squeezing the younger man tightly.

"Gonna miss you kid, take care and call me, yeah?"

"Will do John, look after yourself," Evan replied into John's chest, returning the embrace.

"Ortz, I'll call you in the morning," reluctantly John let Evan go and bid his farewell.

Shutting the door behind him, Randy grabbed the last two beers and threw one to Evan, "May as well finish these off."

Evan nodded, sitting back down on the couch and trying to get comfortable. He saw the concern in Randy's eyes and tried to mask a low moan of pain as his shoulder muscles sent a twinge through him. "I'm glad my flight's not until tomorrow afternoon."

"Me too," Randy got off the bed and moved to sit next to Evan, "your shoulder's hurting isn't it?"

"Yeah but it's fine, I'm used to it by now," the younger man shrugged, "I'll live."

"When did you first get injured, if you don't mind me asking."

"When Nexus dogpiled me a month or so ago," Evan sighed. "I thought I'd be able to work through it but not to be."

Randy saw a slight flicker in Evan's eyes that he didn't recognise, but it was something that unnerved him. He didn't push it though. Evan wasn't going to talk until he was ready, and pushing him would only make him retreat more into himself. "Best to get it sorted now though, before it gets too bad. Good job they didn't do more damage really."

Evan just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Instead he downed half of his beer and leaned back, almost unconsciously snuggling against Randy's firm body. Randy smiled and rested his arm on Evan's stomach, allowing him to lean back further.

"I'm gonna miss this," Evan sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing into Randy's gentle touch, his stomach muscles fluttering as Randy's long fingers stroked at his stomach, pushing up his t shirt to touch the skin.

"Me too," the older man confessed. "Ev, I..."

"Don't say it," Evan sat up quickly, putting distance between himself and the champion, "please don't say it."

"Why?" Randy was confused, he knew that Evan felt the connection between them, knew that Evan had suppressed feelings for him just as he himself had for Evan.

"I can't, Randy. I can't. He..." Evan put his head in his hands.

"He what Ev? Who is he?" Randy got off the couch and knelt in front of Evan, taking his hands and holding them tightly, unperturbed when Evan refused to look at him.

"Please Randy, please don't."

"Let me help you Ev, I just want you. You know I want you."

"But I can't," Evan looked up, eyes shining brightly, "I know there's something between us but I can't. There are so many reasons that I can't be with you."

"And I don't care about any of them," Randy cupped Evan's face in his hands, thumbs stroking tears away, "please. Let me make it right."

"You can't."

"Let me try."

Evan shook his head. "Please Randy, I..." He willed the older man to understand.

"Ok," Orton nodded, "please think about it though, I can't stand the thought of you being at home on your own worrying about whatever the hell is going on and me not being able to do anything to make things right for you." Randy took Evan's silence as acquiescence. "Will you at least stay with me tonight?"

There was surprise on the high flyer's face, and fear, "I can't, I can't."

"Please."

Thoughts were racing through Evan's mind, that he wasn't worthy of Randy, that he would taint him; _his_ voice, sneering and angry.

"Ev, I just want you here with me, I'm not asking for anything more." Randy could see the conflict and indecision.

"Ok," he knew he'd regret it but he couldn't say no. He needed something good right now. Randy nodded and stood up, holding out his hand. Evan accepted the invitation and again melted into Randy's arms, feeling conflicted but safe.

As he lay cuddled up next to the Viper's sleek form, Evan knew that his secret couldn't stay hidden much longer, and that filled him with dread. This might be the one and only time he got to be so close to the man he admittedly loved, so he tried to commit every feeling to memory. There was so little good in his life right now, he held on tight and fought sleep, wishing that the morning would never come.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Destroyed (3/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout **this chapter mentions of dubcon/noncon**

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely). This chapter things take a dark turn as a little bit more is revealed. 

Randy's heart dropped when he awoke, alone. Inwardly, he cursed. He knew he shouldn't have pushed Evan into staying when he was clearly so vulnerable, but he had just wanted to show him some comfort and that someone cared. Instead he'd scared him off.

He sat up to find that he wasn't alone. Evan was sat, fully dressed, staring out of the window, arms wrapped round his legs, head resting on his knees. Everything about him screamed defeat. He hadn't even noticed that Randy was awake, so lost was he in his own dreadful world.

Randy got up and padded over to the smaller man, sitting down opposite him and taking his hand. Evan looked up, surprised. A smile briefly crossed his face before the enormity of the situation hit him and he had to look away.

"Ev, have you even slept?" Randy was shocked by the dark shadows under Evan's eyes. He looked beyond exhausted.

Evan didn't even appear to register the question, he just spoke quietly, brokenly, "it's funny really. This all happened because I was so scared of getting injured and losing my job, and then I get injured anyway and in one way that's actually a good thing because I know I'll be safe but I'll have to come back and it's not going to end because I've been so bloody stupid." He buried his face in his knees, pulling away from Randy's touch.

"Evan..." Randy's voice trailed off, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't handle seeing him so upset, the boy looked like his world had fallen apart. There was nothing else he could do but pull Evan into his arms and hold him tightly, feeling the tremors rock the too thin, too tired young man.

The high flyer closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel comfort, just for a short amount of time, before he shut his heart down again and sat up, rubbing his face furiously. Reluctantly, Randy let him go.

"I'm always here for you Ev, you know that."

"I know. And thank you." Stiffly, Evan stood up, "I have to go. Randy..." he looked like he was debating what to say, "please, be careful. Don't let him do to you or John what he's done to me."

"Be careful of what Ev? Please... let me know what we're up against."

Evan closed his eyes, he knew he was signing his own death warrant but he couldn't let anything happen to Randy or John, "Barrett. Just stay away from him Randy, please."

Randy immediately sprang to his feet, hands on the younger man's shoulders, staring at him, "what has he done to you?"

"I can't tell you." At the look of pleading on Randy's face Evan shook his head, "It's safer that way. Just... be careful of him. Don't let him have any power over you, he never lets go and he will destroy you." Evan looked up at the ceiling, anywhere to avoid Randy's piercing gaze, "I've already said too much. Please. No more questions, just stay away from him. You and John." He could only hope that Randy did as asked and didn't make the whole thing worse. The situation could be about to explode.

The older man nodded, determined to speak to John and confront Barrett as soon as possible but not wanting Evan to worry. "Listen, call me anytime, ok? And get well. I'm gonna miss you. And thank you."

Evan nodded and walked away. He couldn't look back.

Randy watched him leave with a fear in his heart that this was the beginning of something terrible. He had a name now, a few hints of something, but nothing else. Not even checking the time, he grabbed his phone and called Cena.

It was a grumpy voice that answered, "Ortz, you best have a damn good reason for calling me this early when you know I'm hungover."

"Barrett."

"What?" Suddenly John was awake and alert.

"Barrett has something over Evan. I don't know what, but I'm damn sure going to beat the English bastard until I find out." Randy's voice betrayed no emotion, which to John was more scary than an angry Randy.

"Ortz, give me ten minutes to shower, I'm coming over. You do nothing until I get there, do you understand me?" Cena didn't want Randy to go and do something stupid that would potentially cause them all more trouble.

"See you in ten," Orton growled and hung up.

Cena quickly scrambled to shower and dress, making it over to Randy's room as fast as he could. He knew his best friend's temper, and once there forced the younger man to sit down and tell him exactly what Evan had said.

"He didn't tell me hardly anything John. He was talking, almost like he didn't realise I was there, saying about how he ended up in this situation because he was scared of getting injured and being fired, but now he's injured anyway. And he... he said that it's never going to end even though he's injured. And then he told me it was Barrett but all he would say was stay away from him and don't let him get power over us. I'm gonna kill the English fucker."

"We can't just go wading in there Ortz, no pun intended," Cena flashed a grin to try to get Randy to calm down a little, "what if we make things worse for Evan?"

"How can things be any worse?" Randy still thought that beating hell out of the Englishman would be the best solution.

"I don't know but do you really want to find out? We don't even know what's happened!" Cena rolled his eyes, there was sometimes no reasoning with this man, "we need to play this smart."

"So what do you suggest?" The last thing Randy wanted was for Evan to get into more strife.

"I don't know."

* * *

When Evan got back to his own room he saw his phone flashing with a new message. Dread hit the pit of his stomach as he opened the text with trepidation. As the words processed in his brain his heart broke.

I told u not 2 tell.

The phone vibrated in his hand and a further message appeared.

U will not ruin my plans. Orton and Cena r next.

Evan slumped against the wall, shaking. It was one thing if he got hurt, but he couldn't let Randy and John get hurt too. A sudden determination taking him over, he made his way to the room of the man who was making his life hell.

Before he even knew what he was doing he was hammering on the hotel room door. It was eventually flung open in irritation, "what do you want Bourne?"

"Can I come in or shall we have this discussion where everyone can hear?"

Evan was begrudgingly allowed to enter the room and then realised why there had been reluctance. Justin Gabriel was curled up in one corner of the bed, shock and something that looked like relief etched on his face.

"Randy and John know nothing about what's going on," Evan looked his tormentor straight in the eye, "I kept my end of the bargain."

"I don't believe you," Barrett's voice sent fear down Evan's spine but he tried not to show it.

"I don't care if you believe me or not, I'm telling you they don't know a thing."

Barrett smirked, "well of course you wouldn't tell them everything would you, after all what would they think of you to know you whored yourself to me to save your career?"

"You gave me no choice, you bastard. You threatened to beat me down every week until I was so injured I'd be released. You threatened to break my freaking legs." Evan was shaking with fury, but he also knew at the back of his mind that Wade was right, what would Randy and John think of him?

"And yet you're potentially jobless anyway because of an injury that we caused the first time we beat you. Ironic that. Nevertheless, we had a deal. You tell no one and stay away from Orton. I know you spent the night with him and I know you understand what I'm capable of so I'm absolutely sure you warned him to stay away from me. And I'm even more sure that he called Cena the moment you left and they're currently deciding what to do next. You're sending trouble my way Bourne, and that was definitely not what we agreed."

Evan gasped, did the man have spies everywhere? "Look, I'll do whatever I have to, just stay away from Randy and John."

Wade shook his head, "Bourne, you're useless to me when you're not here."

"So why keep fucking with me? The agreement is broken, I'm injured anyway, why carry this on?"

"Because I'll need you when you come back from injury. Because controlling you allows me to control Orton."

"What do you mean control Orton?" Evan stopped suddenly as Barrett's words processed through his brain.

"While Orton's worried about you, his eyes are off the ball. But while you're not here I'm going to have to give him something else to worry about."

"Bastard," Evan realised that he'd been played. Although he didn't doubt that Barrett would have kept his word and put him permanently out of action had he not agreed to the deal, he'd had no idea that he was just part of a bigger picture for the English man. Then he realised what Barrett was referring to when he talked about giving Randy something else to worry about, "you stay away from John, you hear?"

"Threatening me Bourne? Very bad idea. Now I suggest you go home, get fit and get ready for the fucking of your life when you return. The Nexus whore has been passed around so much he's hardly worth fucking," Barrett idly pointed at Justin who cringed and tried to curl up further into himself.

Evan looked at Barrett with disgust, "and what if I go to Randy and John and tell them everything?"

Wade laughed, "you'd tell Orton that you whored yourself to me?" The pained look on Evan's face told him all he needed to know, "exactly. Now how about you get down on your knees and get me ready before you go."

Evan closed his eyes, but knowing the consequences, kneeling in front of the taller man and pulling down his sweatpants, the sick feeling in the back of his throat and pit of his stomach partly because of what Barrett was doing to him, partly in fear of what Randy would think of him if he knew, and partly shame and self hatred at having ever got into the situation in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Destroyed (4/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Thank you for the reviews, they're very welcome and very appreciated

* * *

Evan packed as quickly as he could and made his way to the airport. He didn't want anyone to see him, he just wanted to be as far away from everything as possible. His mouth was still sore and he felt like Randy would just know what he had done if he saw him, and he couldn't let that happen.

John and Randy therefore found their attempts to find Evan futile, and Randy's growls of frustration were increasingly setting John on edge. The Viper sent several texts to Evan, getting even more annoyed when there was no reply.

"Ortz, he's probably in the air by now."

Randy nodded, sighing loudly, "I just..." his voice trailed off.

"Yeah," Randy's feelings didn't need to be spoken, John knew his friend as well as he knew himself. "So what are we gonna do about Barrett?"

"I don't know. I think we need to watch and wait. And go after the bastard in the ring. Evan clearly thinks he's going to come after us in some form, so we need to stay on our guard."

John nodded, knowing that things were inevitably going to get ugly. He wasn't going to back down from anything, at any time. Especially when it came to supporting and defending his friends. Hopefully his innate stubbornness wouldn't get him into too much trouble.

* * *

Barrett said nothing to Cena, nothing to Orton. Outside of the ring, it was as if he had no interest in them whatsoever. In the ring was a different matter, he had his sights firmly set on Randy's world title and was not averse to playing dirty to get himself into main events with the two superstars.

In the ring he goaded, pushing and pushing with snide comments each time John locked up with him; little looks at Orton that most people would have missed. When Randy hit him extra hard Barrett just smirked, and when Cena verbally tore strips off Nexus Barrett just grinned and shook his head.

Randy was getting increasingly frustrated and subsequently was getting careless, allowing the Englishman to hit a few more shots than might usually be expected. As always, Barrett just flashed a smug smile and shook his head. Randy couldn't help it, he knew he shouldn't let the man get to him but Evan wasn't answering his calls and he was more worried than ever.

Barrett had been getting to John too, pushing his buttons until John had agreed to a stipulation match. If Barrett won, Cena would have to join Nexus. If Cena won, Nexus would disband. As soon as the agreement to the match left John's lips he cursed himself, realising that was exactly what Barrett had wanted. He had faith in himself though, and knew he could win. The potential consequences weren't worth thinking about.

* * *

Evan watched with trepidation as Raw started. He had a horrible feeling about that night's show. Shifting on his couch so that his arm could rest on the side, he looked at his phone. Three missed calls from Randy today. He'd called every day, but Evan couldn't bring himself to speak to him; partly through shame, partly through fear.

Evan watched in increasing horror as he saw John not only agree to a match with Barrett but with the stipulation that if he lost he would have to join Nexus and do whatever Barrett said. This was exactly what he'd tried to warn them against. He knew it was exactly what Barrett had wanted. John had fallen into his trap.

As the referee's hand came down to count three, Evan screamed in frustration, jumping up and screaming again in agony as his shoulder reminded him of his recent surgery. He stared at the screen in dejected fear as John became bound to Evan's worse nightmare. He'd fallen right into Wade's trap, despite Evan's warnings.

The high flyer immediately got on the phone to Randy, not even thinking about the consequences this time.

Randy answered his phone quickly as he stood backstage, watching John on the monitor with a feeling of dread. This wasn't supposed to happen this way. "Evan, you ok?"

"Randy why did he take the challenge? God knows what he'll do to him now, why didn't you stop him?"

"Ev, he can handle himself, he's gonna be ok, yes Barrett got one over on him this time but he'll be ok."

"No!" Evan almost shouted, "John doesn't know what he's like, what he's capable of..." Evan's voice trailed off as he realised the implication of his words, "god Randy you can't, you don't understand. I told you Randy, don't let him get one over you and that's exactly what he's done."

"Ev, John can handle him," the doubt in Randy's voice seeped through and struck fear into Evan's heart. Randy suddenly realised that he couldn't let John become as broken as Evan seemed to be, but he had no idea how to stop it.

"I thought I could handle him," Evan whispered.

"John has me right by his side, I'll make sure he's ok, I promise," Randy knew that John wouldn't keep secrets from him, and that together maybe they could find out what the hell Barrett had done to Evan and then fight this evil that was seeping into their lives.

"Tell him I'm sorry," Evan sighed, hanging up.

Randy turned and waited for Cena, unsure about what would come next. Barrett arrived through the curtains first, and his smirk made Orton want to punch him in the face there and then, but his anger drained from him as Cena followed, his eyes seeking out the champion and nodding briefly.

"Cena, follow me." Barrett's order was brief but forceful. Cena nodded again and followed the Englishman, his posture confident.

Randy cursed and turned away. He had a horrible feeling they'd got themselves way too deep into something that they didn't even understand.

* * *

John eventually returned to Randy's room later on that evening, a look of surprise on his face.

"He didn't do anything, Ortz it was weird, he just introduced me properly to the other Nexus members, then told me I had to meet up with them next Monday for Raw."

Randy leaned back on the bed and nodded, "it's next Monday we have to worry about. John. This wasn't supposed to happen, I just feel like we're playing right into his hands."

"Well there's nothing I can do about it now, I'm in this situation. I can't believe I lost the match," Cena shook his head. "Maybe we can destroy them from within. We need to know he wants though, I just wish Evan would talk to us."

"I'm even more worried now," Randy admitted, "Evan called me while you were in the ring, god he was so upset, I just..."

"What the hell has he done to him Ortz? Evan's a fighter, he's got so far on his own, what the hell did Barrett do? Did he say anything else?"

"He was just saying that we didn't know what he was capable of, that we didn't understand." Randy frowned. "I need to call him, tell him you're ok."

John smiled, he knew Randy's reasoning for wanting to talk to the young high flyer wasn't only because of the current situation, "Cool, well I'm going to chill with a couple of beers, we'll catch up tomorrow yeah?" Randy nodded, "tell the kid I'm fine and not to worry about me."

Randy shook his head, thinking that was easier said than done when it came to worrying. Now it wasn't just Evan he had to worry about, it was John too.

Steeling himself, he grabbed his phone and clicked Evan's number on speeddial, waiting impatiently for the younger man to pick up.

"Is John ok?" were the first words that left Evan's lips. He'd sat, since speaking to Randy and watching Raw, terrified about what might happen, about what Barrett might do.

"He's fine," Randy reassured him. "Barrett just introduced him to the other members of Nexus and then told him to meet them next week for Raw."

Evan closed his eyes, for one moment relieved, but then realising that Barrett would be more subtle, smarter, more cunning. It was not going to be easy. "This is going to be hell," he whispered.

"John can handle himself, and he knows I've got his back Ev," Randy tried to reassure him, "just like I'd be there for you if you'd let me."

Evan cringed, "that's exactly what he wants. If you're worried about us you're easier for him to destroy."

"Is that what this is about?" Randy stopped for a moment. It made some sense: Barrett was chasing his title, but there must be something more. No title was worth all this scheming.

"He's after you. I don't know why." Evan sighed, "I can't do anything, I feel so useless."

"It'll be ok Ev, me and John will get to the bottom of this, I promise."

"I wish I could believe you."

"I could help if you'd tell me what he's done to you Ev. What's he holding over you?"

Evan just closed his eyes and said a silent prayer, he wanted to believe that Randy would understand, but Evan felt like he wouldn't, and couldn't.

"You know how much you mean to me," Randy whispered, wishing that there was some way of truly showing his feelings.

Evan did know. He was aware of the attraction between them: the heat, the looks, the physical contact and emotional connection. He believed that once upon a time there might have been a chance for them to have something special, but knew that time had gone. He knew that Randy wouldn't want him now. Not if he knew.

"that's why I can't tell you."

"Ok," Randy knew it was futile to push him any further. "I miss you Ev." He didn't expect a response but he needed the younger man to know. He waited, almost holding his breath, before a shaky whisper was heard.

"I miss you too."


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Destroyed (5/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Randy and John met up again on Monday for Raw, Cena somewhat perturbed that he hadn't been contacted by Nexus. He knew he was to go to their locker room before the show, and that was all.

"Listen, call me or text as soon as they try anything," Randy advised, "we don't know what Barrett's gonna do so we need to think on our feet."

"Will do," John nodded slowly, "you spoken to Ev?"

"Yeah, a couple of times, he's in a bad way. Listen, will you talk to him later? He might worry about you less if he's spoken to you and knows you're ok." Randy's heart ached at the thought of Evan being worried, and wondered if he might open up to John a bit more because they seemed to be in a similar situation.

"I'll give him a call."

"You text me the moment those guys start fucking around, ok?" Randy put his hand on John's shoulder, "promise me. Don't try doing this on your own, that's what Evan did and look where he is now."

"I promise." John was serious for a moment then grinned, "right, I'm gonna go see what's in store for me tonight then I'll call Ev. Don't you worry about me, you just prepare for your title match."

"Thanks man."

As he walked off, John mused on his friend. Randy was not one to show his emotions easily, but where Evan was concerned Randy was all over the place. John didn't want Randy to be worrying about him as well, Randy needed to concentrate on keeping the championship away from Nexus, and keeping out of Barrett's way. John figured he could handle whatever Nexus threw at him, and he'd find a way out of the situation soon enough.

Looking at the symbol on the locker room door John shook his head and stopped for a moment, listening to a heated conversation going on inside between Otunga and Barrett. It sounded like Otunga didn't want Cena to be a part of Nexus and he was challenging the leader on that. John grinned to himself, figuring he could use disharmony in the group to his advantage. With that thought in his mind, he pushed open the door.

Otunga immediately turned on Cena, "feel free to fucking knock why don't you?"

John shrugged, "I thought I was a member of Nexus now, so why would I need to knock?"

"Quite right Cena," Barrett held up his hand to silence any further protest from Otunga. "Welcome to the Nexus."

"So what do you guys want me for today?"

Barrett smirked, "today we are taking things easy. I'll be formally introducing you as a member of Nexus, and you'll be required to support the Nexus in our tag team match against the Hart Dynasty. That will be all."

"Ok." John made to leave but Otunga stood in front of the door.

Wade shook his head again, "no David, it's fine if John has somewhere to be. He'll be back here before the show starts, won't you John?"

Cena smirked in Otunga's face, "of course." He pushed him out of the way with a little more force than necessary and left the room, musing on the short conversation. It hadn't at all been what he'd expected but he could cope with this, and he'd found out enough to know that there was trouble in paradise and that could be used to his advantage.

John remembered Randy's request and grabbed his phone from his pocket, hitting Evan's number on speed dial.

Evan answered on the second ring, "John, you ok?"

"Hey kid, how're you doing?"

"I'm getting there John," although he sounded far from it, "what have Nexus done?"

"Nothing, as yet," Cena replied, "all I've got to do tonight is to be introduced as a Nexus member and then help out with the tag match."

Evan sighed, he couldn't work out if that was a good thing or not, "ok, just don't trust them John, never trust them."

"Don't worry about me kid."

"I can't help it, I know what they're capable of," the younger man bit his lip, wanting desperately to warn John of the lengths Barrett would go to, but still too scared, "just take care of yourself."

"I promise. How're you doing anyway?"

"My physical therapy is going well," Evan deliberately misunderstood the question.

"Good," Cena debated what to say next, knowing that Evan was being obtuse, but figured straightforward was always his thing, "look Evan, you need to talk to Randy about what's going on. I know how you two feel about each other, and kid there can't be anything so bad that you couldn't tell him."

"You don't understand," Evan sighed, "he'd hate me."

"I've seen the way he looks at you Ev, he could never hate you."

The sincerity in John's words gave Evan a little bit of hope, but ugly scenes in his mind destroyed that glimmer of a chance, "I just can't."

"He needs you Ev."

Evan closed his eyes, wishing that could be true, "he's better off without me."

* * *

It may have sounded easy, just being introduced as a member of Nexus, but John found it harder to cope with than he had expected. Week by week they tried to strip away his identity, forcing him to wear a Nexus armband, forcing him to attack his own friends and colleagues. John had thought that he'd be able to cause divisions in the group, especially between Barrett and Otunga, but Otunga was so weak he always acquiesced to Barrett's leadership. There didn't seem to be a weak link within the Nexus, except for one. John had noticed that Gabriel was closer to Barrett than any of the others, they always roomed together, Justin did everything that Wade told him to, yet the young man still seemed scared of the leader. There was something about the relationship that made John seem very uncomfortable, but it was something that he could potentially work with.

He didn't let anyone see how he was feeling though. Especially not Randy. Despite his promise, he was certain that he didn't want his friend worrying about him, particularly as Randy was getting more and more frantic as Evan slipped further and further into depression, refusing even to speak to Randy. John texted the younger man each Monday night, reassuring him that he was ok, but he didn't know if it made a difference. Evan had cut himself off from them, and Randy was not coping with that at all.

John saw this and it worried him, but what John didn't realise was how well Randy knew him. Randy could see beyond the forced smile and the lack of concern about his direction. He could see the slump in John's shoulders when he thought that no one was looking. He could see the pain behind his eyes as slowly but surely everything he stood for was stripped away. He just had no idea what to do about it. He wanted to help John, he wanted to help Evan, as both of them were, directly or indirectly, in their situation because of him, but he had no idea where to start. The only way would be to get rid of the Nexus, but he didn't know how he could make that happen. If John couldn't destroy them from within, what chance did Randy have?


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Destroyed (6/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

A/N Thank you for all of the reviews they are greatly appreciated!

Randy never expected everything to fall apart the way it did. He wasn't surprised when Barrett tried to make John attack him. He wasn't surprised when John resisted this as being a step too far. He wasn't surprised when Barrett pushed the issue, nor was he surprised when John stood firm. He was downright shocked when Barrett put Cena's career on the line, and not only that, but in a match against him.

He had to confront John about this. He'd gone along with John's insistence that he was fine, he'd accepted the glib assurances that John had given that he wasn't stressed, worried or concerned. There was no way he was letting John give up his career. Things had gone far enough.

Randy grabbed John and dragged him into his locker room, ignoring the glares from various Nexus members. He pushed the older man to the other side of the room before turning away, pacing, trying to work out what the hell he needed to do. He could only see one option.

"John, I'm gonna lay down at Survivor Series, he can have the belt."

Cena looked at the Viper in shock, "no way is that happening."

"What choice do we have John?" Randy continued pacing the room, "you can't give up your job."

"But that's giving him what he wants," John watched Randy carefully, knowing he was close to breaking point, "he wants that belt. For some reason, he wants to fuck with you. We can't let him win or seriously man there's gonna be no stopping Nexus and we might as well all give up right now."

"So what the hell do we do?"

"I don't know." There was no easy answer, "but I am not letting them get away with this. I need to fight back."

Randy growled, "we need to fight back. We need a plan. Nexus have destroyed Evan and they're trying to destroy you too. I can't sit by and let this happen."

John grinned, it sounded like Randy was starting to come back to himself and take some control, "so what do we need to do?"

* * *

As soon as Evan heard the stipulation he was on the phone to John, almost screaming down the phone at him, "John no, you can't do this, he can't be left with no one to control him who knows what he'll do."

"Ev, Ev, calm down," John looked over at Randy, betraying the first signs of worry in his eyes. The young man was nearly hysterical, "Ev, just listen to me." He heard a few choked breaths and continued, "it'll be ok, we've got a plan."

"I... I'm..." Evan was overtaken with choking sobs and Randy grabbed the phone out of John's hands, desperate to comfort the young high flyer.

"Evan, it's Randy. Listen to me, I am gonna come to see you as soon as the show finishes tonight, ok? This is gonna stop, he is not gonna do this to you any more." Randy knew enough was enough, he couldn't stand to hear Evan so hurt and distressed any more.

"Please Randy, please tell John not to do this," it was as if Evan hadn't even heard him, "he can't put his career at risk."

Seeing the look on Randy's face, John grabbed the phone back and stated firmly, "Ev, I'm gonna be fine. You know me. Trust me, ok?"

Evan sniffed, trying to compose himself, "John," he began, but was cut off with a fond chuckle.

"I'll be fine kid, I promise ya. Now Ortz will be with you as soon as he can, and you two need to seriously talk. Trust us. Trust Randy. I promise things will be ok."

Evan finally agreed and ended the call. John looked up at his friend expectantly.

"You've got to tell him Ortz, he needs something to hold on to right now."

Randy shook his head, "the last thing he needs right now is me."

"No, you're exactly what he needs," John rolled his eyes, "he needs someone who can hold him and be there for him and love him. And that's you, dumbass."

* * *

Randy made it to Evan's place by about 2am, and for a moment worried that he'd be disturbing his sleep, but needed to see him and couldn't wait another moment. He didn't expect his tentative knock on the door to be acknowledged, but was surprised when Evan quickly let him in, leading him through to the den where they both sat down, neither sure what to say.

Randy studied the younger man carefully, shocked at what he saw. Evan was thin, stubble darkening his jaw, eyes puffy and dark. He could see Evan trying to hold it all together and instinctively knew what he needed to do. Moving closer, he pulled the young man into his arms and just held him tightly. Evan buried his head in Randy's chest, allowing himself the comfort because he was just fed up of fighting how he felt. Randy's arms around him were soothing, protection from everything in his head that told him he didn't deserve the care he was currently receiving. The battle raged within him as he tried to accept the comfort he was being given and not listen to the voices that said he didn't deserve love.

Randy waited until Evan's sobs subsided and his body stilled, before letting go. The younger man pulled away, feeling very alone, and looked at the Viper, waiting for him to say something.

It was now or never, he had to lay his heart on the line to try to get through to Evan. Randy had a horrible feeling that things were getting out of control so if he wasn't honest now he'd never get another chance. "I love you Ev."

Evan closed his eyes. Those were the words that he'd dreamed of and dreaded hearing from Randy. A few months ago, they had been his greatest wish; since Barrett, his biggest nightmare. He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself, protection against an unknown enemy. He didn't know how to react, so he didn't.

"Ev," Randy didn't know what to do, he'd laid himself bare in front of the younger man and he wasn't used to being so emotionally vulnerable. "Ev talk to me."

Evan appeared to be contemplating what to say next, he almost started speaking and then stopped a couple of times, before brokenly croaking, "I love you Randy, I always have, but what I've done will change your feelings for me."

"Nothing could change how I feel..." Randy began, but Evan stopped his words with a gentle kiss pressed to his lips.

He sat back, fingers touching his lips in wonder. The taste of Randy's lips was intoxicating but it was the only touch he could allow himself, a memory that he could hold on to, a feeling of hope in a world of despair. "Don't make promises you can't keep. I can never forgive myself for what I've done, so I couldn't possibly expect you to forgive me."

"So tell me then, because I can't think of anything that is so bad that would change my feelings for you," Randy almost shook Evan by the shoulders. "What is this big secret? What could possibly be so bad that would make me hate you?"

"I've been sleeping with Barrett."


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Destroyed (7/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Evan had turned away from Randy the moment the words left his lips. He couldn't handle seeing the hatred and disgust that he was sure would have appeared on Randy's face. God knew the self-hatred he felt in his own heart at his actions. He awaited the explosion; he knew Randy had a fiery temper and had no doubt that it would soon be making itself evident.

Instead there was silence. That was probably worse than anger, as Evan had no clue what was going through Randy's mind. He eventually turned around, to see the older man sitting with his head in his hands, such dejection in his posture it broke Evan's heart a little more.

"How long?" Randy eventually growled, not looking up.

"What?"

"How long have you been sleeping with him?" Randy's words were cool and deliberate, as he tried to keep his emotions under control. Of all the things Evan could have said, that was the last thing he'd expected, and probably the one thing that could hurt the most. He was trying with all the patience within him to remain calm because in a second he felt like he would explode.

"Since Nexus beat me down the first time," Evan muttered quietly. When Randy didn't respond, he continued, "Barrett approached me after I'd been seen by the medic. He said I had two options: sleep with him or be out of commission permanently. I knew Nexus were more than capable of finishing me off, so I made my decision." Shame coloured Evan's features and he couldn't bring himself to even look at Randy.

"Why didn't you come to me or John?" Randy looked up, anger flashing across his face, "we'd have protected you, why did you let it go this far? Why even get involved in his games? Why didn't you tell us when John got caught up in this?" Randy stood up and paced the room, fists clenched as rage engulfed him.

"What was I supposed to say Randy? Oh hey, guess what, I've just whored myself out to Nexus to save my career?" Fury burned in Evan's eyes as he stood up for himself for the first time in longer than he cared to remember. "What could you have done? Be my bodyguard 24 hours a day? You'd have just felt guilty as hell when they did eventually catch up with me and ended my career, because you and I both know that's what would have happened. And god help me I fought hard enough to get to where I am today and I wasn't prepared to give it up, no matter what, and I know I made a bad decision, but damn I made my decision because I thought I could handle it, and I have to live with the consequences. Not you, me." Evan laughed bitterly, "and you know the most stupid thing of all? I'm just a pawn in his plan to get one over on you. It's not me he wants, it's not John, it's to take you out of action so that he controls Raw. It's all about you Randy, one way or another."

Evan stood up and stormed off to his bedroom, anger rapidly receding and heartbreak taking its place. He didn't even know what Randy thought of him right now, the only thing he was sure of was that the love he'd spoken of earlier had surely disappeared.

Randy didn't move. He was trying to process everything he'd just heard but it was taking a long time to permeate through his brain. Evan, brave, independent, courageous Evan, had slept with Barrett. He'd been drawn into the power struggles and mind games of those at the top of WWE and had tried to handle it on his own. Randy's heart ached for the young man but at the same time the anger and revulsion within him was hard to deny. Was Evan right, had the revelation killed Randy's love? Randy wasn't sure, but the pain in his heart when he thought of the younger man told him that love was still there. It was damaged, but it remained.

Slowly, Randy worked out what he needed to do. He made his way upstairs, finding Evan's room and knocking softly on the door. When there was no response, he pushed it open and entered the room, finding Evan sat on the floor at the foot of his bed, staring blankly into space.

"Ev?" He sat down next to the younger man, close but not touching him. "You should have come to me or John. We'd have worked things through, somehow."

"Yeah cos things are working out fantastically at the moment aren't they?" Evan sneered bitterly, and then sighed. "I'm sorry, I just... I underestimated him, and I tried to warn you and John... and it's all fucked up anyway."

"I know. I just wish you'd talked to us."

"Easy to say now, but after the first time... I don't know it's like he already could see how I felt about you and how you used to feel about me, and he used that. He used to say to me, how would you like it if Randy found out you were a Nexus whore, and the thought of that killed me. I came to accept that we'd never be together but I wanted to keep your friendship at least, and he'd constantly throw that in my face. He used to threaten to tell you to get me to do what he wanted, and that was the one thing that scared me the most, losing you as a friend."

"I still love you," the words left Randy's mouth before he even realised, "I'm hurt, I'm... fuck I never thought it'd be something like this Ev, but you're still the same stubborn, independent, strong man I fell in love with. I just... I'm gonna fucking kill the bastard." Randy's rage subsided suddenly and his hand flew to his mouth, "oh my god, John, what if he's done the same to him?"

Evan laughed bitterly, "John's not his type, he goes for smaller, sluttier guys like me. Anyway, he uses Gabriel when I'm not around."

"He's not touching you again," Randy was vehement, "I swear to god he even comes near you and I'll kill him. Let Gabriel entertain him because I will not let him hurt you any more."

"I don't think Justin's always a willing participant," Evan stated quietly. He'd seen how he was around Barrett and the other Nexus members and he was sure that he didn't want to be in the position he currently found himself.

"Shit." Randy hadn't expected that. He'd viewed all of Nexus as a coherent entity, not realising that not all of them knew or approved of what was going on. Then he realised the full implication of Evan's words, "you weren't always willing either, were you?"

"I don't think 'willing' is the right word, but you're right, sometimes he didn't take any notice if I tried to say no." Evan swallowed deeply, knowing that confession would shadow their relationship for a long time to come.

"Jesus Evan," Randy felt like they were both being pummelled from all angles here, and he did all he knew how to do, pulling Evan into his arms and holding him tightly, burying his face in his hair. He needed to make this right.

Evan finally felt comfortable and safe. The worst of the story was now in the open, and Randy was still here. He didn't know what would happen in the future but right now Randy was willing to give him a chance and that was something he would grasp with both hands.

Eventually Randy pulled back and looked at Evan carefully, large hands caressing his cheeks. "When was the last time you slept properly?"

Evan shrugged, "I don't know."

"You have to look after yourself Ev," Randy sighed. "I've been so worried about you."

"That's what he wants, that's why I tried to stay away, I hoped you would forget about me."

"Never," Randy moved a little so that Evan could lean against him, one arm holding him close. "We're stronger together. Now what do I have to do to get my Evan to smile again?"


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Destroyed (8/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Randy watched as Evan slept, his own mind troubled. Although he'd reassured Evan, he couldn't help but feel rage growing inside him at the thought of Barrett having his hands on the younger man. He'd already rationalised Evan's position, not agreeing with what he did but understanding why, and he knew full well that Evan had punished himself far beyond any sadness Randy could feel. No, his anger and rage was directed at one man, a man who had used his position and sheer weight in numbers to control, threaten and destroy.

Although he and John had a plan, it was risky, and should it fail things would never be the same. If it failed, Evan would again be at risk when he returned to Raw, and Randy himself would be left vulnerable. John... well failure wasn't even worth contemplating. He would lose everything.

The small body next to Randy moved closer to him, snuggling into his side, and Randy couldn't help but smile. It felt right, having Evan with him. He stroked Evan's hair gently, hoping to distract himself from what ifs and fears. The younger man looked peaceful at rest, the haunted look he'd been wearing temporarily absent. Randy hoped that he could eventually bring the smile back to Evan's face permanently, but it would depend on what happened over the next few weeks. If things went wrong, hope may be lost forever.

Evan whimpered and shivered, waking up somewhat disoriented. He blinked a few times, snippets of the night forcing themselves into his head, but one thing was insistent in his mind: Randy was still there.

"Ev?" Randy tentatively brushed his lips over Evan's forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have for a long time," the young man murmured, "but I didn't want to wake up, I wasn't sure you'd still be here."

"I'm going nowhere," Randy reassured him, "not now I've finally got you."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. I won't deny that I'm... I'm not finding it easy to deal with you did, but I do understand why you felt you had no choice."

Evan nodded, "thank you." They lay in silence, neither quite believing that they had finally come this far, but knowing that eventually the real world would intrude on their peace. "So what happens now?"

"Now?" Randy grinned, "well right now I'm very comfortable in your bed," Randy was heartened by Evan's smile at that, "but soon, I need to speak to John and we need to fine tune the plan."

"You really think you can end this?"

"Yes," Randy replied with more confidence than he felt, "we have to Ev." They were both silent as they contemplated the alternative, "but lets not think about that now. You go back to sleep."

"I'm awake now," Evan had a cheeky smile, but suddenly sadness crossed his face. His only thought was that he was tainted and Randy couldn't possibly want to touch him now that he knew what he'd done.

Randy knew what Evan was intimating and then saw his smiled disappear. "Hey, what's up?" He gently forced Evan to look at him, although the younger man's eyes darted everywhere except at Randy's face. "Ev?"

"I... you probably don't want me in that way because of what I've done," Evan mumbled, making to turn and move away, until stopped by a large body pressing against his back.

"Ev, don't ever think I don't want you." Randy kissed Evan's cheek, the back of his neck, his shoulder. "I've waited so long for you, god I want you so bad, just feel how much."

"You're sure?" Evan pushed himself back against Randy, feeling his erect cock pushing against him.

"Yeah." Randy licked the shell of Evan's ear, hands exploring every inch of Evan's chest, stroking the taut muscles.

Evan groaned in delight, but screwed his eyes shut, "take his touch away," he whispered.

"What?"

"Please. Please just take it away, please," Evan wouldn't look at Randy, but he pushed against him, pulling his shorts down, making his intentions obvious.

"OK," Randy was unsure but he could tell Evan was in such a fragile state he didn't feel like he could deny him anything. He kicked his own shorts off, and sucked a couple of his fingers to lubricate them as much as possible. Tentatively he pushed one finger around Evan's entrance, massaging the pucker and trying to relax him as much as possible. Evan pushed back, craving the touch, wanting more from Randy.

"Please," he whimpered, and Randy couldn't help but grant his wish, as gently as possible pushing first one finger and then two into the younger man, stretching him, stroking his inner walls and trying to bring him as much pleasure as possible. Evan groaned and threw his head back, thrusting his whole body back as much as possible, almost fucking himself on Randy's fingers. "Please," he repeated.

"Shhh," Randy replied, slowly and reluctantly removing his fingers and spitting into his hand, coating his cock with the liquid. "You're sure," he questioned, a sense of unease being quickly nudged out by desire to fill the smaller man.

"Please," Evan mewed, "need you."

Randy pushed slowly into the torturous heat of his lover, the feeling better than he ever could have imagined. He wrapped his arms around the young man, one arm holding his body close, the other snaking down to wrap his long fingers around Evan's cock. This wasn't going to last long but he knew it was more about giving Evan something to hold on to. Evan gave a stifled cry as his release suddenly came, and the sound and feeling sent Randy over the edge, his body shaking and convulsing as he filled Evan with his seed.

Randy held Evan close to him, his arms wrapped tightly around the lithe body, reluctant to end their coupling. It was then that Randy realised that Evan was shaking. He made to move but a small cry from Evan stilled him, so he stayed where he was, hoping that whatever was going on in Evan's head, he was feeling some comfort. Eventually he moved away from Evan a little, allowing the younger man to turn in his arms and rest his head on Randy's chest,.

Randy held Evan until he seemed calm, and then gently forced him to look up, their eyes meeting for what felt like the first time. Randy was shocked at the sadness within his lover, the doubt and fear clouding his eyes. He didn't push though, he just smiled softly and waited for Evan to speak.

"I'm ok," Evan lied.

Randy didn't challenge the truthfulness of the statement but instead nodded, placing a tender kiss on Evan's forehead. He knew Evan was hiding something, knew the younger man would find it hard to trust anyone, knew that it would take patience to break through to his heart. He felt anger rise in his stomach at the thought of what had happened in the past, and he tensed.

Evan looked up, feeling immediately that Randy must be angry with him. Randy stroked patterns along Evan's shoulders, down his back, trying to soothe his own ire as well as Evan's fear. "It's ok Ev," he lied.

They both laid in each others' arms, neither acknowledging the barriers that existed, that they would have to cross. They both took comfort in what they had, not knowing how long it would last.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Destroyed (9/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

"You're gonna need to speak to John."

Evan sighed, he knew Randy was right but that wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have. His fear of Randy knowing had been a lot to do with their relationship and what he'd wished and hoped to have with Randy; with John, Evan feared losing the older man's respect and trust, and those were things he valued immensely. Evan couldn't quite believe it still but Randy was trying to understand what he'd done. He wasn't sure John would react in the same way.

"Ev, he needs to know," Randy pulled the younger man close to him, placing a soft kiss into his hair.

"I know. Do you want to give him a call and invite him to stay here for a few days?" He knew it was a conversation that needed to take place face to face, no matter what.

"Yeah, I'll call him," Randy smiled, "you'll be ok. John's stuck by me through all my shit. He'll understand."

"I hope so," Evan rested his head on Randy's shoulder and curled up against him. "You and John, your friendship means a lot to me." He stopped suddenly, as if he had realised for the first time the impact of the last twenty four hours, "Randy,will... will you and me being together affect us and John?"

Randy grinned, "who do you think told me to come to you yesterday?"

Evan's eyes widened in shock, "he knows?"

"He knows how I feel about you, yes," another kiss was pressed to Evan's forehead reassuringly, "and he said that you needed me."

"I did. I do."

"So don't worry then. Let me give him a call."

* * *

John arrived early the next day. Evan was still sleeping and Randy couldn't bring himself to wake the younger man, so peaceful and content in slumber, so he quickly pulled on sweatpants and a t shirt and jogged downstairs to the front door.

John took one look at the faint smile on his friend's face and nodded, "you and him are good?" As the grin on Randy's face widened, John laughed and pulled the younger man into an embrace. "About time man."

Randy led the way into Evan's den, leaving John's bag in the hallway. Cena sat down and waited expectantly for Randy to tell him what was going on.

"This is nothing like we expected John."

"So what's going on?"

Randy paused, "Evan needs to tell you himself. It's... fuck it's just the most screwed up situation and I've gotta be honest I'm finding it hard to deal with."

"How bad is it Ortz?" Worry crossed John's face. Randy was calculating and cool but when it came to people he cared about he felt strongly and deeply and John already knew about his feelings for Evan. To see Randy so conflicted told John there was something very bad happening.

"We have to stop him." They both knew who Randy was referring to. "What he's done..."

"Are you gonna tell me?" John asked impatiently.

"No, but I will." Evan's voice was low and both Randy and John looked up at him in surprise. John was shocked at how thin and tired the younger man looked, but smiled fondly as Randy shifted so that Evan could sit next to him, the tattooed man wrapping his arms around Evan protectively.

"Hey kid, how're ya doing?" John moved so that he could see Evan properly, and offered him a warm smile.

"Better than I was," Evan felt Randy's arms tighten around him instinctively and felt reassured, "although I might be about to change that."

"Ev..." Randy went to speak but was stopped by a gentle kiss.

"It's ok." And this time, it was. Evan spoke quietly and quickly about what had happened, what he'd been threatened with, what Barrett had done. He didn't look up, he just held Randy's hands in his lap as he leaned back against him, the older man ensuring that he didn't feel alone. It was only when Evan ended his story that he dared face his friend, and he was shocked at the sadness he saw.

"Jesus Ev, why didn't you talk to us?" Cena sighed, "I know Randy's probably already said that to you, but promise me you won't ever keep something like this from us again. We're your friends first and foremost and nothing will ever change that."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologise. Ev... I'm shocked. Seriously. But it does make things make sense. He's doing it to Gabriel as well isn't he?" When Evan nodded, he continued, "I thought there was something going on. But we can use that."

"He never..." Evan looked up shyly, "he never tried anything with you?"

"Not like that, no. But if we're being honest, there's something I need to tell Randy."

"What?" Randy wasn't entirely sure he could take anything else. The Nexus had already almost destroyed his lover, what else had they done?

"Bit by bit, Barrett has worn me down. I'm mentally exhausted. Physically I think I'm ok, but it's so hard battling against everything and now potentially I could lose everything I've worked for and I honestly don't know how I'll cope with that." John's shoulders slumped and he seemed to shrink in on himself.

"I know," Randy whispered, "I could tell, even though you were trying to hide it. We've been friends for so long I know you and how you react."

"I'm a dick," John laughed, which broke the tension, "and a rubbish actor, clearly." Evan took the opportunity to lean forward and hug his friend, still not quite believing that he'd told his two best friends the secret that had crippled him for so long and they were both still there for him.

"Thank you, both of you," eventually Evan pulled back and looked at Randy and John, "you do not know what it means to me to know you're both here."

* * *

Evan was obviously still exhausted emotionally and physically, and was eventually persuaded to go back to bed for a while. Randy kissed him tenderly and promised that he would look after John, and the eldest man's agreement was persuasion enough.

"Go sleep kid, we'll all chill out later, ok?"

Evan nodded and kissed Randy again, before leaving the room. Once he was sure that he'd gone upstairs, John fixed Randy with an intense stare, "how the hell are you coping with hearing that?"

"Honestly John, I don't know." Randy walked over to the kitchen, John following him. He searched the cupboards before eventually finding a bottle of whisky and two glasses, pouring large measures in each and handing one glass to John. "I swear to god I'm gonna kill Barrett given half the chance."

"And what about Evan?" John knew Randy, and he could tell there was something eating at him.

"I..." Randy picked up his glass and threw back the liquid in one swallow, "it breaks my heart that he's gone through this, I just want to protect him and take away the pain because he's hurting so badly."

"But?" John could tell there was something that Randy was holding back.

"But I'm so fucking angry at him. How could he do that? How could he sleep with him?" Randy carefully put the glass down and clenched his fists, trying to control himself. "It fucking hurts, more than I ever thought it would."

"And have you told him this?"

"How can I?" Randy looked up and the extent of his love for Evan was clear in his eyes. "How can I hurt him any more? He's so unhappy and damaged and I can't do that to him."

"Then you need to find a way to work it out, otherwise it'll always be there between you."

"I know."

"And there's something else, isn't there?" John was used to dragging things out of Randy, because heaven forbid he should appear vulnerable in front of someone.

"I just wish I'd told him how I felt before. If I'd told him, maybe we'd have been together and he'd have been able to tell me about the threats and I could have dealt with it. It should never have got this far, Evan's been hurt and your career's at stake because I'm so bloody stupid." Randy turned away. He hated admitting weakness at the best of times, but in front of John was the worst thing.

"Have you told Evan this?" John asked gently, knowing how hard it was for Randy to admit what he had just said.

"No."

"Then tell him. He needs honesty from you. And god knows Ortz, he might be damaged right now but he's a fighter and I'm sure he's stronger than you think." As he watched the information permeate through Randy's brain he decided that now was the time to get down to business. "So anyway,we need to amend the plan."

Randy nodded, John's directness and focus was just what he needed. "Right, where shall we start?"


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Destroyed (10/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Evan couldn't believe John's plan. He got John and Randy to go through it two or three times before he accepted that it was what they thought would work best. He wasn't in agreement, but accepted that it was the most likely solution. It meant a hell of a risk for John though, and he definitely wasn't happy about that.

John could see that Evan was getting increasingly strung out by the situation and, knowing how stressed Randy was about everything, decided to take matters into his own hands. He knew how frustrated Evan was, how powerless he felt and how angry he was, and knew there was one surefire way of dealing with that. He made Evan grab his gym bag and demanded that he give directions to his local gym. Evan acquiesced, aware of what John was doing and appreciative. He wasn't up to full training because of his shoulder injury, but he could aim a few well aimed kicks at a bag, and work out some tension with a good long run on the treadmill.

John watched the younger man, seeing the tension drain out of him as he took out his frustrations in the most constructive and positive way. Evan would be good for Randy, and Randy's persistence when it came to people he loved would help Evan to realise that he didn't have to fight every battle on his own. It made John happy to see his friends finally act on their feelings, but that only magnified his own solitude. He was never so isolated as he was right now, and he wondered where he would be left when the whole situation with Nexus was over. The thought of being left with nothing was not one he wanted to contemplate, but it was a scenario that could well happen should things not go according to plan. Randy and Evan would have each other; who would John have?

He put those thoughts to one side though, as Evan was looking so much happier and he didn't want to ruin that. They picked up a takeout on the way back to Evan's home, as well as a few beers, determined that the evening would be fun and that the Nexus would not extend their hold any further. And it was fun. Jokes and conversation flowed and Evan was so animated it was hard to believe he was the same person as earlier. Randy sat and watched in wonder, smiling as he realised that his Evan was still there, that he hadn't been broken completely. Locking eyes with John he mouthed a silent 'thank you', John just nodding in response, and for the first time in a while he believed that they would all get through this.

* * *

One part of Randy wanted Evan to accompany him to the PPV and Raw tapings, and the other wanted to keep him as far away from Barrett as possible. He didn't want to admit to himself that at least a small part of him feared that Evan would return to Barrett. He certainly didn't want to admit that thought to Evan, but somehow it came out, and the hurt in Evan's eyes was something that would haunt Randy for years to come.

"You don't trust me." Evan's words were abrupt, as if he was trying to hold himself together for long enough to find something to hold on to.

"I do," Randy was struggling to articulate how he felt, and with every word felt like he was making things worse.

"No you don't. You don't want to think it, but there's a piece of you that thinks if he threatens me again I'd sleep with him to keep myself safe." Evan turned away. He felt like he was stupid to think he could ever make this thing with Randy work. It would always be shadowed by what he'd done.

"You're right." Evan turned in surprise at the words. Randy walked over to him and gently caressed his cheek, keeping the younger man's gaze. "You're right. There is a part of me that is afraid that if I wasn't there for you, you'd go back to him to keep yourself safe. But like I said before, I understand why, I'm just having trouble dealing with it actually happening. And I'd blame myself for not protecting you just like I blame myself for not protecting you back when it first started."

Evan sighed, nuzzling his cheek against Randy's hand, needing the physical contact, "the difference now is that I have you. I... wrestling is all I've had, for many years. If he'd have taken that away from me, what would I be? I feel like I can say no to him now because I have a strength I didn't have before." He stopped, realising exactly what Randy had just said, and then reached up and pulled him into an intense kiss, breaking contact only when both were gasping for air. Evan shook his head as the full impact of Randy's words hit his heart, "what do you mean you blame yourself?"

"If I'd have told you how I felt, you'd never have ended up in this situation."

"Easy to say," Evan shrugged, "but he was after you, he'd have found another way of getting at me, in fact it would probably have been easier for him if we'd been together. Please don't blame yourself."

"How can I not when I see how much you're hurting?"

"Because you are the only one who can ease the pain."

Randy closed his eyes and held Evan close to him, trying to believe what he was being told. Evan's warm embrace and the feeling of his body next to him soothed the demon within; the nagging doubt was still there but it's insistence was slightly less, and hope replaced it.

"I don't want to be there," Evan murmured, "at the PPV, and Raw. But I don't want you to do anything stupid. I know you want to hurt him but you need to remember what John's putting at risk, ok? Revenge will come, but it needs to be when the time is right."

"I won't put John at risk. I'll stick to the plan," Randy would be eternally grateful for the role that John was going to play in their scheme.

"Can I ask one thing?" Evan bit his lip, "can both of you come here straight from Raw? I don't know how he's going to react when he finds out that you know what he's been doing, and I don't want him goading you into anything..." Evan left unspoken his fear of reprisal from the Nexus leader, but Randy understood his concern.

"We'll come straight here. I won't let him hurt you again Ev."

"Please don't make promises when you don't know if you'll be able to keep them." As confident as both John and Randy were in their plan, Evan knew that things were far from over and could potentially get worse.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Destroyed (11/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Although Evan knew what was going to happen, his heart sank as he watched John count the 1...2...3... which would end his career. The obvious anger on Barrett's face sent shivers down Evan's spine, and he prayed that John knew what he was doing.

John stormed backstage while Randy took the applause and cheers for retaining the championship, wanting to get the inevitable confrontation with the Nexus leader over before Randy came backstage. He didn't want the younger man worrying about him any more than necessary, and he wanted to be able to reassure Evan as soon as possible.

A strident English accent made him turn around quickly, and he steeled himself. "What do you want Barrett?"

"Orton must mean a lot to you," Barrett sneered, "you wouldn't give up your career for just anyone."

"You know nothing about me," John spat, "but believe me this is not over."

"Oh it is John," Wade laughed. "If you, Orton and his little bitch have any sense, it will all end here."

"No!" Cena grabbed Barrett by the throat, "this is between me and you. Now let me make one thing clear. This. Is. Not. Over." He punctuated each word with a squeeze to Wade's windpipe. "I am going to make your life a living hell." In disgust, he let go of the Englishman and turned away.

"You do what you want to Cena," Barrett choked breathlessly, "but warn your boy Orton that I have unfinished business with that slut Bourne so he'd better watch his back."

Cena roared in anger and ran towards the Nexus member, who quickly turned and sprinted down the corridor. John grabbed a chair and threw it at the retreating man, frustrated as it bounced off the floor.

"John?" The voice behind him pulled him away from his anger and he composed his features, not wanting Randy to have anything else to worry about. He was already going to explode when he found out what Barrett had said about Evan.

"You ok?" John asked carefully: it had been a brutal match.

"Yeah, what did he say? Randy indicated to the now empty corridor that Barrett had retreated towards.

"He..." John cursed in frustration, "he said he's got unfinished business with Ev."

Randy was silent for a moment and then a roar that shook the arena exploded out of him and he punched the wall, anger dulling the pain that immediately shot through his knuckles. He turned to John and slowly and deliberately tried to calm his breathing, but there was no denying the anger and venom in his voice. "If he lays even one hand on Evan I will destroy him."

John nodded, he had no doubt that Randy would carry through on his promise. He was fiercely protective of those he cared about. "We need to give Ev a call, check he's ok."

"Shit," Randy suddenly realised that Nexus would have no qualms about a sneak attack and almost ran to his locker room, grabbing his phone and quickly calling his lover.

"Ev, you ok?" He asked before the younger man could even say hello.

"Yeah, Randy I'm fine. What is it?" Evan could tell something was very wrong. When Randy didn't speak he panicked even more, "Randy what is it? Are you ok? Is it John?"

"We're ok," the older man growled, "John's fine."

"So what is it? Randy you're scaring me," the young high flyer was becoming increasingly agitated, "is it Barrett, did he do something?" When Randy answered that in the negative Evan noticed the tone of his voice had changed somewhat, "he said something about me didn't he?"

"Unfinished business, he said." Randy started to pace the room in fear and anger, "Ev, maybe you should go check into a hotel or something, I'm worried about you being there on your own."

"I... ah fuck," Randy heard the sound of smashing glass and muttered curses and then Evan spoke again, clearly and calmly. "I'm gonna go check into a hotel for the night, maybe for a couple of nights. I need to decide what I'm gonna do next, because right now I don't have a clue, and I'm not thinking straight."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"I don't want you to worry about me," Evan whispered.

Randy's expression softened and a smile crossed his usually harsh features, "I'm always gonna worry about you Ev."

The love and compassion in Randy's words made John look up in surprise, and steeled his determination. He would end this, one way or another.

* * *

Evan quickly packed a small overnight bag, his hands shaking as he threw the essentials into his travel bag. He hadn't wanted to betray to Randy quite how worried he was by the whole situation, but he knew he'd become complacent – he should have known that Barrett wouldn't let things end so easily. Knowing what Barrett and his cronies were capable of only magnified his concern, and with a frustrated grunt he threw the bag over his shoulder and grabbed his car keys, deciding to head out towards the airport.

He parked at the first half decent hotel he saw and booked a room. It was basic but it was anonymous and that was what he wanted. Pulling out his phone to call Randy Evan noticed a text message that must have arrived while he was driving. The sender and content confirmed that he'd made the right decision:

I haven't 4gotten about u. u will pay 4 crossing me.

Evan shuddered, he didn't even want to imagine what Barrett was planning, or indeed what Randy would do if he got half a chance to get his hands on Barrett. He knew he needed to protect Randy's career, to protect the fragile grasp he had on his rationality, but at what cost he did not know.

The high flyer sat back on the bed, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, frustrated and emotionally exhausted. Slowly he began to breathe deeply, using the calming meditation techniques he had learned when working in Japan. When he knew he was calm enough that he wouldn't betray his fear when speaking to Randy, he picked up the phone.

"Ev, you're at a hotel?"

The love and concern in Randy's voice comforted Evan somewhat, "yeah, out by the airport so you two can come straight here after Raw tomorrow."

"Good."

"Is John ok?"

Randy chuckled, "yeah, he says he's gonna enjoy misbehaving and breaking the rules for a while. Wanna speak to him?"

"Please," Evan hadn't realised that John and Randy were rooming together but that fact reassured him a lot.

"Hey kid," John's cheerful voice further lifted Evan's mood, "I'm seriously looking forward to kicking some Nexus ass in the next few weeks you know."

"I bet you are," Evan laughed softly. "Thank you for what you're doing."

"Hey this is necessary for all of us Ev, we're gonna deal with this our way."

"I just wish I was fit and healthy right now," Evan sighed, his mood rapidly dissipating. Every one else was risking something, and he was stuck in a hotel room with no role to play.

"You will be, soon enough."

John put Randy back on the line and they chatted for a few more minutes but Evan was distracted and, feigning tiredness, Evan ended the call. As he tossed and turned in bed his mind took him to a place he didn't want to consider, but it was one thing that he could do, that might keep Barrett away from all of them. It could lose him everything, but Evan realised it might be the only thing he could do. And that thought terrified him.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Destroyed (12/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

The next night at Raw John made good on his promise to start creating hell for the Nexus, revelling in not being constrained by any rules or regulations. He could do as he wanted and what he wanted was to take Nexus apart, bit by bit. Harris was the first target and he was easy to take out. John had never been one to advocate rule-breaking but he actually found it liberating.

Randy watched in amusement as he saw his best friend enjoying the bad boy role, and it alleviated his worry about what John had put at risk to get their plan moving. There was also a perverse sense of pleasure at seeing Nexus members being decimated. Nothing would make up for what they had done, but it was a start.

"Ready to go?" John was sat in the car with the engine running, so Randy threw his bags on the back seat and jumped in.

"Let's get the hell out of here," the viper growled. "If this flight is delayed I swear to god I'm gonna create absolute chaos."

John shook his head, he was used to his friend's impatience, "don't you worry I'll get you back to your boy soon enough."

Randy nodded, pulling out his phone and dialling Evan's number. He just needed to speak to him, to reassure himself.

Evan smiled to himself, he'd watched Raw and knew that Randy would call as soon as the show was over, "hey Randy." He acknowledged to himself that hearing the older man's voice soothed his heart and calmed him down more than he could ever imagine. It meant they were one step closer to their goal.

"Ev, we're just driving to the airport now, should be with you by early morning," Randy's voice softened, "I can't wait to see you." He saw John's grin widen and stuck out his tongue.

"I can't wait for you to be back here," Evan whispered, "they haven't done anything or said anything have they?"

"No, nothing. I think John took them by surprise."

Evan couldn't help but chuckle, "I bet he did, he looked like he was enjoying himself."

Randy looked over at Cena and nodded, "I think he had the time of his life."

"Damn right," John agreed, "and we're only just getting started with that one."

"So far so good then," Evan noted. "I've left a key at reception for you and John's got a room booked."

"Thanks Ev." After a few more minutes conversation Randy hung up and stared at the road in front of them. "There's no going back now John."

"No, but it all needs to be done," John shrugged. "What are we going to do about Evan though. He can't stay in a hotel forever and we know Barrett's gonna try something."

"I dunno." It was something that weighed heavily on Randy's mind, but he couldn't find any simple or workable solutions. All he knew was that he would kill Barrett given half the chance.

* * *

Evan was dozing when he became aware of someone else being in the room with him. He blinked a few times and grabbed his glasses, leaning over to flick the bedside light on.

"Sorry, I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake you," Randy dropped his bag on the floor and shrugged off his jacket.

"I was trying to stay awake," Evan stretched and sat up properly, "I'm glad you're here."

"I am too." Randy kicked off his shoes and stood by the bed next to where Evan was sitting. He suddenly felt awkward, not sure whether Evan would welcome physical contact, not sure what he should say. Evan could see the conflict within Randy, the insecurity and uncertainty, and took the initiative, standing up so that he was in front of the viper, hoping that his desire was clear.

Randy took a breath of relief and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, Evan snuggling into the embrace. When it was like this, Evan felt like he might get through this in one piece with his sanity intact.

"What happened tonight after John took out Harris?" Evan asked cautiously. He knew Barrett wouldn't take this lying down.

Randy sighed and pulled away from the high flyer, "apparently Barrett trashed the locker room, Ted called me after I spoke to you."

"He's going to make someone pay," Evan shuddered, "god I'm glad I'm not Justin." He realised what he'd said as soon as the words left his mouth, and looked away, not wanting to see the inevitable anger and sadness in Randy's eyes.

"Ev..."

"Please, I..." Evan turned away and sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at the grey hotel carpet.

His mind went back to days and nights that he wished he could forget and he closed his eyes, trying but failing to suppress the memories. He became locked in a cycle of misery and barely acknowledged anything until Randy knelt at his feet, taking his hands in his own, forcing Evan to look at him again.

"Ev... Ev look at me," Randy's voice was unusually soft and gentle, so when Evan did glance up at him he was taken aback at the care and concern in his eyes. "What do you mean, you're glad your not Justin? What is Barrett going to do to him?"

"He's... particularly rough when he's angry," Evan choked, "god, it's... he'll throw him to the wolves now he knows what John's got in store for them. He gets so angry all he wants to do is see someone beg not to be hurt."

"Throw him to the wolves?" Randy shook his head, "what do you mean?"

Evan just closed in on himself, lost in a memory that he'd tried, so hard, to block out of his mind. Randy ran his nails across his shorn head in frustration. He couldn't even imagine what had happened to Evan but the more he did find out, the little snippets that Evan revealed, gave him a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach and he knew he wouldn't rest until Barrett's threat was removed.

"I never agreed to it," Evan whispered brokenly, "it wasn't part of the deal."

"What?" Randy had a horrible feeling he already knew what Evan was going to say.

"He made me beg. He made me choose," Evan stood up and ran to the bathroom, and Randy could hear him retching, then water running. A couple of minutes later he returned, still reluctant to look the older man in the eye. Evan stood in the doorway, shame clearly visible in his demeanour. He hated himself, he was pretty sure that Randy must hate him too by now.

Instead, he found himself enveloped by two strong tattooed arms, pulling him close. Evan could feel tremors vibrating through Randy's body and he hated himself for causing that, but at the same time he felt eternally grateful that the older man was still there.

"I wish you'd tell me everything," Randy murmured, "but I understand why you won't."

"It's not that I won't," Evan sighed into Randy's chest, "I just... I can't. I don't want you to hate me and it's bad enough what you already know."

"I know I struggled to understand, and if we're being honest here I'm still struggling, but you're too important to me to give up on this. I wish you'd understand that Ev."

Evan nodded and grimaced. "Just don't give up on me."

"Never." Randy gently placed a kiss on Evan's forehead. "Now I'm exhausted, lets at least try to get some sleep, yeah?"

"Sure," but as Evan snuggled next to Randy he knew sleep would not come easily to him that night. Nor would Randy achieve slumber, his mind coloured with fears and anger at things Evan had only hinted about.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Destroyed (13/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Evan sat with John and Randy trying not to laugh at John's increasingly outlandish and extreme suggestions for revenge on the Nexus now that he was free to do as he wished. Well hidden beneath the easy-going exterior was quite an evil streak which Evan was getting to know and appreciate, and Randy of course was the king of plotting and revenge so he was able to feed John's imagination.

"Who do you think I should go after first Ev?" John asked after detailing his plans for a particularly nasty assault using a car as a weapon.

Instinctively Evan thought of Barrett, anger and fear his guide; then his mind went to the longer term plan – this wouldn't be over in a few weeks, he knew that, and he realised he could possibly help someone too.

"I think, Justin," he said quietly, noting the surprise on both men's faces. "I know, you probably want to go after Barrett, but if you can injure Justin, then I know it's cruel in one way but he might get some time away from the rest of them."

Randy's mind went back to what Evan had told him and he nodded, shooting John a look to say that he'd explain later. John was happy with whatever decision made just so long as he got to kick some Nexus ass, so he shrugged his shoulders and continued with his planning.

Evan relaxed a little against Randy's firm chest, leaning back and revelling in the strong arms wrapped around him. Even now he had to pinch himself that this was real, that Randy reciprocated his feelings, but it seemed he really did. John watched the pair of them with a smile, despite everything he'd not seen Randy so happy in a long time and he knew that the Viper was just what the younger man needed. His two friends were important to him in a tough job that could be extremely lonely and he was greatly appreciative that they were always there for him. There was a hint of sadness too, a feeling that he too wanted that kind of comfort, someone to be there at the end of a long and stressful day, but that would come in time.

* * *

Randy and John were due back at Raw the next day, so Randy tried to persuade Evan to go and stay at his house, or with family, but the younger man was having none of it.

"I'm going home," Evan stated firmly, "they are not going to scare me out of my own home, I can't run forever."

"Are you sure?"

"Randy I might be smaller than you guys but I can handle myself, ok?" Evan shook his head, "you of all people should know that."

"But everything that's happened..."

"I know," he sighed and turned round on the bed to face Randy, "look, I won't deny that they're a threat, and I don't know what they'll do, but if you and John can face it head on then so can I."

Randy grinned, this was the man he fell in love with, the fighter who never gave up, no matter what. "I trust you. I just don't want anything else to happen. Just promise me that you'll never be afraid to ask for my help."

"I promise. Now you promise me something too," Evan's smile grew wider.

"What?"

"That you'll give me something to remember while I'm there on my own."

That, Randy could do. He knelt up on the bed and pushed Evan onto his back, his eyes narrowed and glinting as Evan wriggled about a little, his t-shirt riding up to reveal a tempting glimpse of stomach. Randy groaned at the sight and couldn't resist leaning down to lick an slow trail along the inviting expanse of skin.

Evan threw his head back in delight, glad to have distracted Randy from worrying about him, and allowed himself to forget everything in the feeling of having the man he loved on top of him.

Randy pushed Evan's t-shirt further up his chest, licking at the soft skin, loving the feeling of the younger man squirming beneath him. He hoped that with each loving touch he could help the high flyer chase away the demons of his past, wanting him to remember only these touches, only these caresses, only this love.

Evan closed his eyes and allowed himself to just feel, to be in the moment and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist. He sat up a little to allow Randy to pull his t-shirt over his head, falling back onto the bed with a contented sigh. Randy moved slightly so that he was kneeling above Evan, his weight resting on the younger man's thighs. He sat up for a second, just to drink in the sight below him. Evan's lips were parted slightly, his breathing shallow as he anticipated Randy's next move. Evan's eyes opened and he smiled nervously at the older man, worried all of a sudden that he'd changed his mind. Randy recognised the doubt and quickly assuaged it by leaning down and claiming Evan's mouth for a demanding, possessive kiss.

"Never doubt that I want you," Randy breathed as he broke the kiss, licking at Evan's jawline, slight butterfly kisses across the skin. He shuffled down the bed a little so that he was able to undo Evan's jeans, opening the fly in greedy anticipation of what was underneath. Evan lifted his hips and pushed his jeans down, kicking them off the side of the bed onto the floor, his briefs soon following suit.

Randy went straight to his prize, his mouth sinking down on Evan's erect cock, his tongue working its magic as the delightful heat and wetness sent tremors of desire through the young man. Randy could feel Evan's hips bucking, wanting more of the wonderful feeling, but he carefully held his lover still so that he could prolong the delicious teasing. Evan clawed at the sheets, swiftly at the brink of losing control. Randy recognised this and slowed his pace, not wanting this to end yet.

"Shhh, something better, I promise," he soothed, motioning for Evan to turn over and get up on his hands and knees. Still trembling, Evan did as he was told, burying his head in his hands as he felt Randy's talented tongue pushing at his pucker, slowly and tenderly seeking entrance to relax and prepare the high flyer. One finger, lubricated with saliva, and then another stretched him, interspersed with the intoxicating feelings that Randy's tongue created. Only when Randy was sure that Evan was as relaxed as he could be did he stop and turn the young man over again, seeking agreement and approval, which was quickly given.

Randy pushed in slowly, tenderly, eyes searching Evan's face for any sign of discomfort or pain. He saw a slight flash of fear, of anguish, and stopped. Evan's eyes flew open and he nodded, motioning that he wanted more, wanted everything that Randy could give him. Randy realised at that point that history was causing Evan pain, not the act of love, and trusted in his own judgement to create new, beautiful memories for Evan. A pulsing rhythm on Evan's cock was matched by Randy's thrusts into the younger man, words of love murmured as they both sped towards completion.

Evan lay back in the afterglow, curled next to Randy, their perfect bodies glistening with a sheen of perspiration. He had never felt so loved, so happy, and that scared him. Randy felt him tense and just held him more tightly, knowing that Evan would speak when he was ready. Evan was comforted by the embrace and pressed a kiss to Randy's shoulder, a wordless thank you for everything he had been given and would be given.

They did not know what would happen next, but Randy knew that what he had right here was worth fighting for, and he was determined to fight to the end.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Destroyed (14/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

True to his word, John took out his next target with precision and ease. Justin didn't know what had hit him, but he was soon introduced to the hood of a car and a cold concrete floor. As he watched the young man trying to get his bearings, John shook his head in disgust to note that not one Nexus member approached him or tried to help. It was like he'd been thrown to the wolves.

It wasn't in the plan but John felt like if he was throwing the rule book out of the window, he may as well do it in style. When he was sure that no Nexus member was going to come and help the young high flyer, he carefully walked out to where the young man was still lying on the ground and gently helped him to his feet.

Justin was disoriented and looked up in surprise and fear at the man who was assisting him.

"Hey, I'm just gonna walk you back to the locker room, ok?" John spoke softly, hoping to reassure the young man. Justin nodded reluctantly and allowed himself to be escorted to the backstage area, and he couldn't help the sigh of relief when he was walked past the Nexus locker room. Fear flowed through his veins as he realised whose locker room he was being taken to though. It was surely a set up, a trap.

Randy looked up in surprise, and some anger, as John pushed open the door, guiding the South African in and prompting him to sit down. Cena held up his hand in a gesture that meant 'trust me' and Randy nodded, not happy about this turn of events but acceding to John's judgement.

"I'm sorry for beating you up," John looked almost apologetic.

Justin looked incredulous, "no you're not, you hate us. After what we've done to you... You've obviously brought me here so you and Orton can do whatever you want so just get on with it so I can get back to my room and get over it." He looked down at his hands, trying to will the tears away.

"Do we look like we're planning on beating you even more?" Cena shook his head, "you must be joking." It then dawned on him what Justin must have meant, "you think we're gonna assault you? Like sexually?"

"Why not, it's what Wade did to your boy," Justin spat, but guilt crossed his features as he didn't know how much they knew about Evan and his involvement with Barrett.

"And it's what all of Nexus are doing to you," Randy looked up for the first time, grey eyes blazing with anger. In that moment Gabriel realised that Randy knew what had happened to Evan, what had happened to him, and he felt both relieved and heartbroken. He didn't want people to see him as his work colleagues did, as he saw himself. Pathetic. Weak. Broken.

"We would never stoop so low," Randy growled. "Never." He started pacing the room, Justin's eyes following the shadowed figure nervously. "What he did to Ev... I can't even begin to imagine, and he's only hinted what they did to you and just the thought of it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach."

"So what do you want from me?" Justin asked softly. "Why did John bring me here?"

Both Randy and Justin looked at Cena, awaiting an answer. The older man shrugged.

"To be honest, I don't know. At first I just wanted to injure you enough you'd get a few weeks off and that would get you away from Barrett and the others for a while, but then I watched and no one came to help you... and damn that was not right, so I helped."

"So you just want to help me?"

John nodded, and Justin shook his head in frustration. "Then bringing me here was the most stupid thing in the world. They'll see me with you and it will be worse than you could ever imagine."

"What do you mean?" John knelt next to the younger man.

"They don't trust me as it is, I don't want a part of this stuff that's going on, but they... once they know I'm with you, they'll think I've betrayed them and... and..." he started shaking violently, prompting John to move closer and pull him into a hug. Justin's body stiffened at the contact but eventually relaxed into the embrace.

"You don't have to go back to them," Randy said suddenly.

"Where else will I go? What else will I do?" Justin looked up at the viper, confusion in his eyes.

"Hold on," Randy grabbed his phone out of his bag and left the room. John continued his hold on Justin, gently persuading the young man to accept the physical contact and comfort. When Randy returned he caught John's eye and nodded, before sitting down next to Justin.

"You don't have to go back to Nexus. Take some time out, you can go stay with Evan for as long as you need."

"But... I can't give up my career. If I leave Nexus, I'm done with WWE. I can't give this up, it's all I've ever dreamed of."

"We'll work something out," John spoke for the first time in a while, "you're good, Justin, you could be great. But not with them. You're better. You deserve better."

"I'm not sure I can handle better," Justin whispered, looking every inch the fallen angel. "I've destroyed myself."

Randy cursed in frustration, getting up and throwing a towel against the wall. He couldn't sit by and watch this happen again.

"Justin," he tried to keep his voice calm, to remain the cool, calm viper that everyone expected him to be, "I waited too long to save Evan from them, I will not sit by and let someone else go back to that kind of abuse, so listen to me. You need to take this chance to get away, work with us and we'll get you to where you need to be. Me and John, we will end the Nexus, one way or another. We will protect you and make things right, if you let us."

Justin looked at John for reassurance, and the older man nodded, backing up everything that Randy said.

"Do you wanna carry on with what they're doing to you?" John asked softly. Justin shook his head, "then trust us."

Gabriel nodded, slumping against the wall in defeat with a small sense of hope. He was being offered a way out of his nightmare, and despite everything he had to grasp it with both hands. Randy and John looked at each other in satisfaction. It hadn't been what they planned, but it had worked out in their favour.

Suddenly, Justin looked up. "My stuff, it's in the Nexus locker room."

Randy grinned, "leave it to me." He walked out of the room, returning ten minutes later with a bag in his hand. "I waited until they were all out in the ring." He addressed John quickly, "you two should get out of here, go to the hotel and I'll meet you there later, ok?"

"Will you be ok?" John questioned, not knowing how Barrett would react to the return of John Cena, "we can wait."

"No, I'll be fine. Besides," Randy smiled at the young man, "Justin's no doubt feeling the effects of your beating by now and could do with a shower, right?" He laughed as Justin nodded in relief. "Help him get dressed and go. I'm gonna go cause chaos to give you a chance to leave unnoticed, ok?"

"Randy," the South African accent was soft but certain, "thank you."

The older man just nodded. He thought of what Barrett had done to Evan and was determined that no one else would be destroyed by that man. Things in WWE would change, one way or another.


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Destroyed (15/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Randy, John and Justin arrived at Evan's place early the next day. Justin was still wary but had developed a level of trust with Randy, aware that the Viper knew what kind of things had been going on within the Nexus. He was still nervous around John, due not only to the beating he'd been subjected to but also his concern about John's motives. He had worked out by now that Randy was fiercely protective of Evan and would therefore protect anyone who was also a victim of the Nexus. He just couldn't work out John's involvement and why he would want to help him.

Evan answered the door quickly and threw himself immediately into Randy's arms, grateful to have him back even for a day or so. Justin couldn't help but smile at the open show of affection, but his face fell as it made him realise how alone he was. John saw this and placed a supportive hand on Justin's shoulder. Cena gently nudged the now embracing Orton and Bourne out of the way and led Justin into the house, taking both of their bags and dumping them in the hall way. He led the younger man into the den and motioned for him to sit down.

"We'll leave those two to get reacquainted," John chuckled. "Don't worry, they're always like this."

Justin nodded, still clearly uncomfortable. "Maybe I should have gone somewhere else," he whispered.

"You're safest here," John was struck by how much the thought of the young man being on his own upset him. "And you shouldn't be alone right now. Honestly Justin, trust us."

"I... I want to," he admitted, "I guess I'm just used to being with people who won't do anything unless there's some ulterior motive. And after everything I've done, why would anyone want to help me?"

"I can understand that," Justin had described most people associated with the wrestling world, if John were honest with himself. "The only ulterior motive I have is to destroy the Nexus, and stop anyone else going through the shit they've already done to you and Evan."

"And to you. I never wanted to be involved in anything they did to you," Justin looked at John carefully, unsure about what he should say, "I know Barrett broke you down but I never wanted a part of that."

"I know. I don't blame you kid," Cena shrugged, "I could tell you didn't want to be involved in it, and then when I found out what they did to Evan things just started to make sense. I'll be honest with you, my plan was never to do this – to bring you here. I was just going after each member in turn, and destroy them one by one, and that's still what I'm gonna do. Ev just suggested that I go after you first as it would give you a chance to get away from them for a while. I think he worried about you, and he was right to be."

"You should have left me there. I got what I deserved." Justin sounded hollow, empty.

"No. I was gonna, but I couldn't leave you on your own. I was just gonna wait until one of the others arrived, to make sure you were looked after. I guess I never thought they'd abandon you like that."

"Nor did I, I guess I'm even more of a worthless whore than they said," Justin took a shuddering breath, trying to keep it together but failing as he broke down, shaking and sobbing into his hands. John's strong arms were around him in a second, encouraging the high flyer to let out his frustration and hurt.

Evan and Randy stood at the door, watching as John comforted their guest. Evan went to walk in but was stopped by his lover, "leave them, Justin will be ok."

Evan nodded, looking up at Randy sadly, "how many other people have they destroyed?"

"I don't know," the Viper sighed, "but it stops here." He pulled Evan close to him, at once grateful that his lover was safe and afraid for all of their futures. He and John would do everything in their power to destroy the Nexus; failure was not something he was willing to contemplate.

* * *

Justin sat up stiffly once his tears had dried and he was calm. He looked everywhere except at the man who had comforted him. John smiled gently and with one hand under his chin forced the young man to make eye contact.

"Justin?"

"I'm sorry," he stammered, "you probably think I'm weak."

"No, no. Not at all," John tried to reassure him quickly, "I would never think you're weak."

"I'm sorry for breaking down," he turned away, ashamed of his feelings.

"Never be sorry for showing how you feel. If you ever need to talk, talk to me, please? I know... I know we've never been friends but you need someone and I'm here." John felt like he owed the young man something, something beyond just rescuing him from a terrible situation.

Justin nodded, still evidently unsure, but something told him to trust the older man. Something that felt like safety.

* * *

Justin found himself extremely nervous around Evan, not least because Evan knew more than anyone what he had been through and that was something that made him feel ashamed. He couldn't shake the feeling that he should have been stronger, should have fought more, should never have been in that position in the first place. And there was something else. Something nagging in his stomach that told him he should have been able to prevent what happened to Evan. That guilt was eating away at him and it was difficult to hide.

Evan felt uncomfortable too. It was bad enough that Randy and John knew what he'd done, but Justin not only knew, he'd been there on some occasions, he'd seen Evan submit, and that made the younger man feel more vulnerable than he'd ever imagined he could be.

They both skirted around the shared experiences as much as possible, not mentioning anything that might be difficult or challenging. Trying to keep the conversation simple, Evan and Justin found they'd got a lot in common, and were getting on as friends on a simple and basic level. There was a connection beyond their shared difficult experiences and Justin hoped he could hold on to that, as he knew he had precious few people with whom he could share confidences.

Evan had just finished his nightly conversation with Randy and was making his way to his bedroom when, walking past the guest room, he heard sniffling and choked sobs. He stopped at the door, unsure of what to do. He wasn't sure if Justin would want him to see this, or if he wanted to be on his own.

He sighed, walking on to his own room. Justin had been so cagey and reluctant to talk about what had been going on, Evan didn't want to push him into talking before he was ready. At the same time, he knew better than anyone what Justin was going through and how a part of him and been desperate for someone to push past the barriers. Evan couldn't let someone else go through that feeling of being totally and utterly alone. He turned around and went back to the guest room, knocking gently on the door.

When there was no response he pushed it open, whispering softly, "Justin, it's Evan." The only response was a sniffle, so Evan continued carefully, "can I come in?"

Evan could make out Justin rubbing his eyes furiously and sighed, "it's ok."

"It's never going to be ok," came the stuttered response, Justin wiping his eyes again as he sat up, his back against the headboard, wrapping his arms around his knees. "I'm never going to get away from this."

Evan closed his eyes; Justin had just vocalised his own biggest fear. When he said nothing, Justin knew he was right.

"It's never going to end is it?"

"I don't know."

Evan sat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to confront the demons that haunted him. He looked at Justin and saw himself.

"I have nothing left." Justin sounded so hollow, so alone, it broke Evan's heart.

"You have us."

"You just feel sorry for me," Justin spat, and then immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"I understand," god knows Evan understood how difficult it was to trust anyone after what had happened, "we're not going anywhere, I promise."

"I don't deserve it, but thanks," Justin sniffed, trying to calm himself, "you should go back to bed, I'll be ok."

Evan nodded, then paused. He remembered how alone he'd felt at first, and looked at Justin carefully, "do you want me to stay?" When Justin looked up at him with curiosity and a little hope, he explained, "just to sleep, cos I know I felt so alone... even when I didn't think I deserved Randy's love I still needed someone just to be with me so I could pretend things were gonna be ok."

Justin nodded slowly, "I don't wanna feel alone any more."

Evan smiled gently, and prompted Justin to move over, getting into bed and pulling the covers over both of them. He motioned for Justin to move closer and wrapped his arms around him. Softly stroking the South African's dark hair he tried to soothe his fears and in doing that convince himself that they would both be able to get through this. As both of them drifted to sleep they were comforted in the knowledge that neither of them felt alone.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Destroyed (16/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Note: Just want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, it means a lot! Hope you continue to enjoy.

Randy and John arrived back at Evan's place early the next morning. Evan had given Randy a key and he quietly let himself and John in, glad to be back and both of them keen to tell Evan and Justin about the latest developments with the Nexus. They'd had a successful few days and had taken out Heath and Otunga, and John found himself with butterflies in his stomach at being the one to tell Justin.

Randy left all the bags in the hallway, and pointed John in the direction of the second guest room. He went straight to Evan's room and his heart almost stopped when he found the bed to be empty. Evan wasn't supposed to be going anywhere. Why wasn't he in bed? Dangerous and frightening thoughts entered his head and he tried to remain calm, thinking where else Evan might be. It was then that he heard John whispering his name.

He saw Cena beckoning him towards the guest room, where the door was slightly open.

"The door was open and I just wanted to make sure Justin was ok," John whispered.

Randy looked in and saw his lover wrapped around Justin's body, the embrace screaming protection. A little anger rose within him but as he looked at the two men he could see they were both fully dressed, Justin's face was tearstained, and Evan was holding him like he wanted to keep him safe from the world.

"Justin's been crying," John stated sadly.

"Yeah," Randy's heart swelled with pride, as he realised that Evan was comforting the young South African, trying to help him through the terrible experience they had both had.

"Think we should wake them up?" Cena asked.

Randy was torn. One part of him found the image beautiful, and it was clearly comforting to the both of them, but the other half of him wanted Evan back in his arms where he belonged, and he wanted to be able to tell both of them what had happened.

The decision was taken from them as Evan stirred, and seeing a vague light and movement at the door, sat up slowly, grabbing his glasses from the dresser and eventually focussing on the two men standing at the door. His heart sank, assuming that Randy would think the worst, and he nudged Justin gently to wake him up. Groggily, Justin blinked and sat up, all of a sudden memories of being woken coming back to him.

"No, no please, no," he whimpered, scampering back against the headboard and curling his body into himself, trying to protect himself from unknown threats.

"Justin, it's me, it's Evan," the younger man forgot Randy for a second and tried to bring the South African back to his senses, touching his arm gently. Justin, still lost in his own nightmare, lashed out, catching Evan in the face and pushing him off the bed.

John quickly took control, motioning to Randy to go to Evan. Randy looked furious at first, ready to explode at Justin, but the looks that John was shooting him made him bite his lip and instead do as he was bidden. He quickly helped Evan to his feet, taking a quick look at his busted lip before leading him out of the room to the bathroom to get it cleaned up.

John tentatively approached Justin, kneeling at the side of the bed, not touching him but at the same time speaking slowly and carefully to try to bring the young man back to reality.

"Justin, it's me John. There's only you and me here and I promise no one is going to hurt you. I'm just gonna sit here by your side and when you're ready we'll sort this out, ok? I don't wanna scare you."

The South African looked up, as if he was just becoming aware of where he was. "John?" He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes, "what... where's Evan?"

"Evan's with Randy. You back with us buddy?"

"I... I thought it was them."

John himself shuddered at the desolation and fear in Justin's voice. He couldn't even imagine what horrific memories were assailing him right now. He hated seeing the younger man so broken and was determined to make it right. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"What... oh my god I hit Evan, is he ok?" Justin was fully awake now and panicking, "he's gonna throw me out and I'll have to go back to them and it'll be worse and I can't do this I can't I can't..." his voice trailed off as he put his head in his hands in frustration.

"He'll be fine, Justin you're going nowhere, I promised I'd protect you and I will," John couldn't quite remember when 'we' had become 'I' but it felt like a life's mission to him. He nervously stood up to sit on the edge of the bed and touched Justin's arm. The younger man immediately moved closer, shivers subsiding as he felt strong arms wrap around him. "You're safe, Justin. I'll keep you safe."

In the bathroom Randy was pacing backwards and forwards as Evan cleaned his split lip.

"He hit you Ev, you welcome him into your home and he hit you."

"He was scared, he didn't know where he was and god only knows what they used to do to him to make him react like that," Evan dabbed away the last of the blood and turned round. "And what the hell were you both doing watching us anyway?"

"You weren't in your room, and I... I was scared," Randy admitted sheepishly, "I thought something had happened to you when I went into your room and you weren't there, and then John called me over because he'd checked on Justin and saw you both."

"Nothing happened," Evan said quietly, "we just slept, I promise you." He wouldn't blame Randy for not trusting him, after everything that had happened in the past. He looked at a future without Randy and the thought terrified him.

"I believe you," Randy soothed, stopping his pacing and pulling Evan close to him, "I trust you Ev." He hoped that Evan believed him, even if he himself still had doubts.

"I'm glad you're home," Evan rested his head on Randy's chest. "Missed you." He then fully processed what Randy had said previously, "John was looking in on Justin?"

"Yeah," Randy thought no more of it but Evan held a little hope in his heart that something else good might come of the whole situation.

"Can we go to bed?" Evan asked.

"Thought you'd never ask," Randy nodded as Evan led the way. He firmly closed the door behind them and pulled his t shirt over his head.

Evan gave an appreciative smirk, and yanked his t shirt off and pushed his shorts to the floor. Standing their just in briefs he gave a shy smile, awaiting Randy's next move. Randy kicked off his shoes and socks and undid his jeans, letting them fall to the floor. He walked towards Evan like a viper stalks his prey, pushing him backwards onto the bed and covering his body with his own.

"Missed you," Randy breathed, kissing Evan gently.

Evan gasped at the kiss, his lip still sore. Randy's kiss was worth every inch of pain. He lay back and allowed Randy to do as he wished, revelling in the feelings. Randy moved down the bed licking and biting at Evan's chest, memorising every inch of him. He had been more scared than he could ever admit when he'd arrived home to find that Evan wasn't there. The thought of never having the smaller man underneath him again was terrifying, and he wanted to try and show Evan exactly how much he meant to him. And there was something else, something darker that he didn't want to acknowledge.

Randy pushed down Evan's briefs as he reached his prize, licking and nuzzling at his groin eagerly. Evan groaned in pleasured delight. Randy had been wary around him when he came to sex, and to have him taking control and just taking what he wanted made Evan happier than he could imagine, because he felt that finally Randy might be getting past what Evan had done.

Randy tasted his lover, trying to take as much of him as possible, wanting Evan to feel amazing. He needed to have him in this way, to claim him. There was still a tiny part of him that felt doubt about what he'd seen, about what Evan had done, and he wanted for Evan to never want or need another man again.

Evan threw his head back, his hips thrusting up towards Randy's mouth, desperate for that heat, for Randy to bring him to completion. He wanted to be owned by Randy, to give him everything, and the Viper appeared determined to take it all. Flashes of light started behind Evan's eyes and with a small cry he came, squeezing Randy's shoulder with one hand, the contact the only thing still anchoring him to reality.

Randy slithered back up the bed and pulled Evan close to him, trying to gather his thoughts. The high flyer snuggled against the larger man, his blissful high slowly drifting away as he realised how tense Randy actually was.

"I love you," Evan whispered.

"Love you too," Randy closed his eyes to try to hide his doubts and fears, but Evan knew something was wrong.

"What is it?" Evan sat up, shaking with nerves. "Randy, what have I done?"

"You haven't done anything, I just... I was scared," he confessed.

"Scared of what?" The realisation hit Evan like a ten ton truck, "you thought I slept with Justin."

"No, well only for a second but it just reminded me of everything that happened before."

"So what was that? You don't trust me but you make me feel so amazing, I don't get it?"

"I wanted to show you that you were mine and make you never want anyone else," Randy knew it sounded stupid when he said it out loud but his thoughts were so confused he didn't trust himself to say anything else.

"You don't trust me," Evan said quietly.

"I do... In my heart I do but there's just this... flicker of doubt. And, when I saw you with Justin for a moment I was so scared cos I thought that he understands how you feel and he can help you where I can't, and then I saw that you had your arms around him and he was so sad and I felt proud of you for being there for him." Randy looked away, ashamed of his feelings, "but I have to be honest, I'm still struggling with what you did and I hate myself for that."

"I understand," Evan was hurt beyond words but he felt like he didn't deserve any less. "I will prove myself worthy of you."

"Evan you are more than worthy, you are everything," Randy held on to Evan tightly, "I never want to hurt you, and I will work through this I promise. I don't wanna lose you." The words went a little way to soothe Evan's distressed heart but doubt remained. As they embraced they realised that they were only at the start of their relationship and there was a long way to go before they reached salvation.

In the guest room it had taken John a couple of hours to calm Justin down, and eventually the younger man had fallen asleep in his arms. John moved a little so that he was leaning against the headboard, Justin snuggled against his side. In slumber he lost his haunted look, and seemed to be at peace. John stroked his hair gently, continuing to whisper the promises he had made.

"I'll keep you safe, you will never know fear if I can avoid it, I'm sorry that I hurt you but not sorry I brought you here."

Eventually John snuggled down next to the younger man and allowed sleep to claim him too.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Destroyed (17/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Note:Thanks for the reviews, story alerts and favourites! I hope you're enjoying.

Sleep did not come to Evan that night. As Randy slumbered next to him, he went over and over in his mind what had happened, what Randy had said. He knew that his lover didn't trust him still, he was resigned to that and no one more than him realised more that he would forever be tainted by what he had done.

He felt horrible that he had made Randy feel scared – the man was strong, fearless, aggressive, and Evan hated what he had done to him. He felt that familiar guilt in his stomach and the sense that he wasn't worthy of the love he was given. Randy had done everything that Evan needed but still Evan felt like he'd messed things up.

Something else hung in his head too: Randy's confession that he thought Justin could understand and support Evan was something the younger man hadn't even considered. He got on well with Justin, but if anything was more uncomfortable because Justin knew what had happened. They hadn't talked about that and he realised it was something that he would have to address with both Randy and Justin before he could move on.

Evan's thoughts briefly touched on Justin and how protective John appeared to be over him. John was a loyal friend, and someone who would take care of those he felt deeply for, and the prospect of John falling for Justin was not as ridiculous as Evan might previously have thought. He hoped that they could all find solace and care because things could potentially get a lot worse before they got better.

"Stop thinking," Randy whispered, turning over and pulling Evan into his arms again, "morning gorgeous."

"Randy," Evan sighed, accepting the kiss that was given.

The viper pulled back slightly to take a proper look at his lover, "Ev, what is it?" He was immediately worried, Evan looked like he'd been crying.

"Don't worry about it," Evan shrugged, "I'll be ok."

"Talk to me," Randy knew it had taken a long time to actually get Evan to open up to him and didn't want him rebuilding his defences. He knew he'd hurt Evan with his confession the night before and didn't want his own insecurities to become a barrier to their relationship.

"I will," he nodded, pressing a kiss to Randy's forehead, "just not now. You go back to sleep."

Sleepily Randy nodded, putting his arms around Evan again and pulling the lithe body close. He wasn't quite coherent enough to protest but wanted Evan to feel protected and loved, actions proving what words couldn't.

Evan accepted the embrace and eventually drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * *

John awoke before Justin later that morning, and savoured the feeling of having the younger man in his arms. It felt right, and he was surprised at that. He wasn't looking for a relationship, he wasn't looking for commitment, and he didn't know what Justin wanted. He knew the younger man was damaged by his experiences and didn't want to add to that, but his heart was already telling him that he would do whatever it took to bring Justin back to the shining star that he knew he could be.

He didn't want Justin to wake up alone, so he just laid in bed, watching him sleep, surprised at the contented feeling that gave him.

* * *

Everyone eventually got out of bed around lunchtime, and Evan busied himself making brunch while Randy and John eventually shared the news of their exploits beating down more members of the Nexus. Justin couldn't help a smile as John described with glee about how he beat the hell out of Otunga and threw Heath out of the ring so hard he nearly went over the guard rail. Both would likely take several weeks to recover from their injuries.

"When there's only Barrett left, I'm going after a match which will get me my job back," John explained, "and then we're going to destroy him."

"Are you sure you'll get your job back John?" Evan asked cautiously.

"Certain," John replied with a little more confidence than he actually had. "Randy's got my back."

The Viper nodded in response, "of course." He then had a thought, "Justin, can you help us?"

The South African looked up in surprise, "if I can."

"Do you know why Barrett's doing this? I mean, I know it's something to do with me," Randy explained, "but I don't get it. It isn't about the title, it's not about John, or Evan... what does he hope to achieve?"

"He wants the Nexus to have ultimate control," Justin shrugged, "he resents you because you were the youngest champion, because you got everything so easily. And," he looked down at his hands, unsure of whether to tell the truth or not, "he used to say that he wanted to destroy you to prove a point. Without wrestling you'd have nothing. John, he has his movies, Hunter and Undertaker both have their families, outside interests. You, he thought, would be lost without wrestling, and he wanted to show that he had the power to take away the thing that was most important to people."

John took a deep breath. The reasoning had shaken him to his core, yet it made some sense. Randy had always been a loner, had tried to escape the shame of his military experiences, had used wrestling to build himself a future. Barrett had been right on the mark that Randy would have been lost without it.

Justin tentatively continued, "he was jealous, as well. You and John were so loyal to each other without there being any condition to it. And he saw how Evan worshipped you. He knew he could never command that kind of loyalty or respect, so he used what he did have to try to break you."

Evan stopped his food preparation completely and quickly walked over to where Randy was sat, putting his arms around him. He realised what an impact Justin's words would have on Randy and wanted to show him in whatever way possible that it wasn't his fault.

Randy felt cold, deathly cold. He felt Evan's arms around him but couldn't react. He tried to process the information and the realisation that Barrett had been right, that he was nothing without his career, shook him. It was a fact that he'd tried to avoid acknowledging, even though he'd always known deep down that it was true. He realised that everything Barrett had done to Evan, to John, was because of a vendetta against him, and that broke him completely. He stood up, brushing off Evan's embrace, and walked off.

Evan looked at John, wanting direction as to what to do. John motioned to the young man to follow his lover, knowing that despite what he did and the impression he gave, Randy would not want to be alone right now. Evan nodded and followed Randy, hoping that he could be enough to bring him back from the brink.

John could see that Justin was cursing himself for saying what he did, and tried his best to calm him, "we needed to know," he whispered. "Barrett can't be allowed to get away with what he's doing."

"I hate him so much," Justin hissed, "I hate what he's done to you, to Evan, to Randy, to me. All of it."

"Justin, why did you stay with him?" John asked softly. It was the only thing that didn't make sense.

"I only have a Nexus contract," the young man admitted, "without the Nexus I don't have a job. Not only that, he wouldn't let me leave, if I challenged him, he..." the words remained unspoken but John had some idea of Barrett's method of controlling the younger man, "and, you know, when wrestling is all we have, we'll do anything to keep it in our lives." Justin left unspoken the similarities between himself, Evan and Randy.

"We'll get you a contract, you will have no reason to go back to him."

"You don't even have one yourself right now John," Justin laughed bitterly, "and anyway, you think he's gonna let this lie? He's so close to what he wants right now, he can taste it."

"This. Ends." John punctuated each word sharply. "We won't let him win, I promise you. Please don't give up on us now Justin, we're gonna need you."

"You're gonna need me?" he looked up in surprise, "why?"

"You know Barrett better than any of us," John shrugged, "you're one of the most talented guys I've seen in a while, anyone would want you on their side."

"You think I'm talented?" Justin couldn't quite get past that.

"Sure I do. I've watched you Justin. You're good."

"Thank you," Justin was wide eyed with wonder. "That means a lot, especially from you."

"I don't praise anyone unless I mean it," John smiled at the younger man. "Now I've had an idea about how we can get rid of Barrett once and for all, but I will need your help."

* * *

Evan followed Randy up to the bedroom, worried beyond words about how Justin's revelation would have affected him. Despite his exterior, Randy was fragile right now and Evan prayed that it wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Randy?" Evan's voice was soft and nervous.

The Viper barely reacted to his lover's voice, continuing to stare out of the window, not seeing anything except his own misery. He was lost in his own world. Evan walked up to him and placed one hand on his back, not wanted to scare his lover but at the same time needing him to know that he was loved and that Evan wasn't going anywhere, no matter what. The high flyer just rubbed Randy's back gently, waiting until he felt him start to relax before speaking. He didn't know what to say, but knew what he needed Randy to know.

"I love you, never forget that."

Finally, Randy reacted. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the glass of the window, "you shouldn't."

"I do. And nothing you say or do is going to change that." Evan grew in confidence. "I love you and need you and I am not going away."

"Look at what I've done."

Evan sighed, "yes, look at what you've done. You've kept me going, you've saved Justin from god knows what abuse, you've been there for John throughout all of this and you've given me strength and love far beyond what I deserve."

"You deserve better than me," Randy turned around to face the young man who was trying desperately to comfort him, "you wouldn't even be in this situation if it wasn't for me."

"And I wouldn't know what love felt like if it wasn't for you."

The simple declaration stopped Randy's dangerous and destructive train of thought, and he looked at Evan as if seeing him for the first time. "You mean that?" he hardly dared ask.

"Yes." Evan took the opportunity to pull Randy closer to him, and with both hands gently stroked his cheeks, forcing the older man to look at him. "Randy, this is not your fault, you are an amazing person who inspires people every day. Most of all me. Don't let him play on your insecurities like he did mine."

"How can you even look at me knowing that he did those things to you because of me?"

"He did those things because he could. Because I let him," Evan shuddered as horrific memories assailed him for moment, "but that doesn't matter. What matters is the here and now and I love you and you love me," Evan's voice wavered for a moment, like he was unsure whether or not that was true.

"I do love you, never doubt that," Randy growled suddenly.

"Then we're going to be ok." Evan pulled Randy into his arms and kissed him slowly and sensually, not letting up until he felt Randy react and respond. As he felt Randy's arms snake around him, Evan knew he'd got through. They would survive this.


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Destroyed (18/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Randy was quiet for the rest of the day, and John watched in some concern. Justin was also jumpy and nervous, as if he blamed himself for Randy being out of sorts, and John could tell that Evan was just trying to keep things together so that Randy didn't worry about him. It was a situation that wasn't going to end well if it was left as it was.

John took Evan to one side, "I'm gonna go out for a few beers, and take Randy, if that's ok with you."

Evan looked up in surprise, "of course it's alright. You two are best friends." 'And he'll open up to you more than he will to me,' Evan thought sadly.

The older man nodded in response, "you'll look after Justin?"

"You're falling for him aren't you?"

John smiled softly, "You don't miss a trick, do you?" He sighed, "I just get this feeling like I wanna protect him and keep him safe."

"I think he needs that."

"But I don't wanna pressure him, you know?" John looked nervous all of a sudden, "he's been through shit that I can't even imagine, and I just wanna do what's right for him."

"I think you're exactly what's right for him," Evan forced a grin, "I think me and him need to talk as well, and he might open up to me." It wasn't a conversation that he wanted to have, but he knew that both he and Justin needed it to happen.

"Thanks man," John pulled the young man into a hug, both pretending to be stronger than they felt.

John made his way back into the den where Randy was sat staring into space, and flashed the Viper his best smile, "Ortz, you and me are going for a beer."

Randy sighed, "John, I really don't want..."

"Yes you do. I'm not having you moping around here all night, now go freshen up and get ready to go."

Randy knew better than to argue with John, so nodded and stood up, making his way upstairs where he found Evan laid on their bed, pretending to read a book.

"I'm going for a beer or two with John," he said softly, wanting nothing more than to join Evan on the bed and wish the day away.

"That's cool, it'll do you two good to get out and talk," Evan spoke like he hadn't discussed this with John.

"You don't mind?"

"Why would I?" Evan sat up and motioned for Randy to sit next to him, "you're best friends, you need someone to talk to, so does he. We need to be strong for each other but we need to rely on each other as well."

"What will you do?"

"I think there are a few things that Justin and I need to discuss," Evan looked forlorn, and allowed Randy to pull him close and provide a few moment's comfort. "It's not going to be an easy conversation but we need to get past everything that's happened." He pulled away and pressed a soft kiss onto Randy's cheek, "now go, have a good time and I'll be waiting for you when you get back."

"Love you."

"Love you too, now go!" Evan laughed, settling back down with his book, wanting them both to have gone and to fully prepare himself before what was going to be a difficult conversation.

In the meantime John had sought out Justin, who was sat in the guest room watching tv restlessly. He stood for a moment, just taking in the beauty of the younger man. He wasn't sure when his protectiveness had turned into something else, but he knew now for sure that it had.

"Justin?" He couldn't help but smile as the South African looked up with a flash of happiness in his eyes, but it faded as Justin retreated back into his shell. "I'm taking Randy out for a couple of beers. Think he needs someone to talk to."

"That's my fault," Justin mumbled, looking down at his hands.

John nearly ran into the room in his haste to reassure the young man, kneeling in front of him, "Justin, I promise you that's not the case. We're all going through an awful time right now but there is only one person to blame for that, and it's not you. Do you understand me?"

"Thank you." Justin for a moment flashed his blinding smile at the older man, "thank you for being there for me."

"I will do whatever it takes to see that smile more often," John breathed, before he realised what he was saying. Justin was somewhat dumbstruck and just stared at John in shock. John realised that he needed to break the moment or he would do something they would both regret in future, and gently squeezed Justin's hand, "I've gotta go. Evan's staying here or call my cell if you need anything, yeah?"

Justin nodded, still a little stunned, "take care, yeah?"

As he watched John leave, his heart beat faster than he had ever known in his life, but a strong, strident voice with an English accent spoke in his head, telling him that he was kidding himself that Cena would be interested, that he was worth nothing more than being the Nexus whore. Justin put his head in his hands, willing the voice to shut up, to give him peace. But peace never came. As always, the voice won over and continued in its battle to destroy every part of the young man.

* * *

Randy and John sat in the bar, barely speaking to each other. John didn't know where to start and Randy was still lost in Justin's revelations from earlier in the day.

"Stop it," John snapped suddenly, motioning over to the barman and ordering two whiskeys. "Stop blaming yourself for all of this." As the drinks were placed in front of them John knocked his back in one swallow, and indicated for Randy to do the same.

"How the fuck can I stop blaming myself when I am the one to blame?" The burn as the whiskey streamed down his throat felt good, and he quickly ordered another round.

"Ortz, you're not getting this," John shook his head. Randy was the strongest person he knew, but he also felt the most deeply for those he cared about. "This is about Barrett. He's the one to blame, right?"

"Barrett made this all about me, so it's my fault."

"What happened to Justin isn't your fault, it seems like it's been a lot longer than we've even known them."

Randy shrugged, "but he went after Evan because of me. And if I hadn't been so stupid I would have told Evan how I felt about him months ago and he would never have even got involved."

"Exactly. He went after Evan. Barrett did this Randy, he's the one who went after Evan, after me. What he did to Justin shows how much of a sick freak he is. So when are you going to stop moping around and start fighting back?"

"What do you propose I do?" Randy had been so lost in his own misery he'd barely thought about how to end the situation.

"You need to take him out. One on one. We need to take away the rest of the Nexus. It's not enough just beating them up so they're out for a few weeks, we need someone to take over."

"What, like a new leader of Nexus?"

"Exactly." John sat back, pleased with his plan. He knew Barrett worked on strength in numbers, so take away the numbers and the strength was gone.

Randy mused on the idea. It made sense, but there was one outstanding problem, "and who did you have in mind to take over?"

"Punk."

"Seriously?"

"Why not? He's already got a cult-like following, I'm sure he could persuade the Nexus to his way of thinking."

"And you think he'd do it?" Randy had never got on with the Chicago native, but was willing to try anything. "And what do we do about getting your job back?"

"We ask Punk to start working on the Nexus, and I carry on invading Raw every week. I'll challenge Barrett for a one on one match to get my job back, which I know I'll win if he doesn't have Nexus around him, and then you can challenge and destroy him once he's on his own." John grinned, it all sounded so simple when he put it like that.

Randy couldn't help but laugh. John was the most positive person in the world and he made it sound like anything could be achieved with some hope and hard work. "You got it all worked out eh?"

"Damn right," John took a long swig of beer, and indicated for two more whiskeys. "And then once we're rid of Barrett I'll get Justin a contract and we'll be unstoppable on Raw again."

The younger man looked at John with something akin to happiness, realising all of a sudden what Evan had hinted at a couple of times, "you've really taken to Justin, haven't you?"

"Well, you're not gonna deny that he's hot as hell, are you?" John grinned as Randy shook his head, "and he... I just wanna see that smile every day, you know? He seems like such a nice, genuine guy."

"I think you'd be good for him," Randy mused. "And him for you as well. Things haven't been easy for you recently."

"I don't know what I'd have done without you and Evan," John shrugged.

Randy looked up in surprise, "really?"

"You two are my best friends. You stick around no matter what, I appreciate that."

"Well you're not getting rid of me," the viper laughed. "Seriously John, I know I've brought us a lot of shit," he held up his hand as John tried to interrupt, "I know, I know. But there has been a lot of crap go down and you've stuck by me."

"Things are gonna be alright," John nodded and smiled, and Randy knew that the black cloud had lifted from his friend. A confident John would make everything work out, just as he always did. He prayed it would be enough.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Destroyed (19/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things hinted at in this chapter

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena, Justin Gabriel

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out.

A/N: I hadn't forgotten about this! Thanks for all the story alerts and reviews, sorry for the uberlong wait, hopefully I'll be able to pull this together to its conclusion.

Evan couldn't concentrate on his book, or on anything really. The difficulty and awkwardness between himself and Justin was playing on his mind, and he felt guilty for that because he knew it wasn't Justin's fault. He also figured that Justin probably felt the same way.

On his way downstairs he bumped into Justin who was on his way up.

"Hey Ev, I was just coming to talk to you."

Evan laughed, "I was just coming downstairs to talk to you too." They both sat down on the stairs and started talking at the same time. The difficulty between them started to dissipate immediately and Evan motioned for Justin to speak.

"I wanna thank you for taking me in Evan, I honestly don't know how much longer I could have held out with Nexus."

Evan nodded, "we all have our limits. And I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable while you've been here. It's just... it's really hard because you know what I've done – I've not even told Randy everything, but you were there... and it makes me feel very vulnerable and very ashamed."

"You've seen what I let them do to me too. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, I knew what he was making you do and I feel guilty for letting you get into this situation. I should have warned you off right at the start."

"I don't think I'd have listened."

"Maybe not," Justin gave a rueful smile, "but I should have tried. I wish... I hope we can work through this, and that we won't always be awkward around each other. I think... I think you should tell Randy about everything," when Evan looked up in shock, Justin quickly continued, "I would never say anything to him about it, but it seems like a barrier between you that someone else knows how bad it was and he doesn't. He loves you Ev, any idiot can see that. While he's imagining in his worst nightmares what Barrett has done, he's not gonna be able to get past this. And neither are you."

Evan nodded. It made some sense, but it would be the most horrendous conversation he had ever faced, but Justin was right, it would always be a shadow over his relationship with Randy otherwise. He felt like he needed to give Justin something back, something to hope for beyond the next few days.

"You can confide in us you know? Me, Randy... John especially," Evan couldn't help but smile at the hope that crossed Justin's face when John was mentioned. "He has a real soft spot for you and he'll take care of you, if you let him. He's a good guy."

Justin's face fell, "he deserves better than me."

"Why not let him be the judge of that?" Evan knew exactly how Justin felt – every minute of every day he felt that Randy deserved better, but his heart had been given a chance and he felt like he needed to take it.

"Maybe," Justin still seemed unconvinced.

"Trust me on this."

* * *

When Randy and John got back, they were in pretty good spirits all things considered. While they were out, John had made a few phone calls and it appeared that CM Punk was very much interested in a new project, and a plan was not only in place but also in force. Punk had decided that a trip to Raw would be in order, and his takeover mission would start that Monday night.

Justin and Evan knew their positions within WWE were mostly reliant on John and Randy making this work, but they knew it was their only option. Evan was around a month away from being fit to return, and Justin knew he couldn't face going back until Barrett was dealt with. Whatever he'd gone through before would be like a walk in the park compared to what happened if Barrett got his hands on him now. The Englishman didn't take kindly to betrayal.

Randy was in a positive mood and Evan didn't feel that he could bring that down by having the talk that Justin had suggested, although the more he thought about it, the more he could see it was something that had to be done. He was holding back on Randy, although not deliberately, and that wasn't fair on either of them. Once the decision was made he felt able to relax more, and when Randy suggested they hit they hay early, he was happy to agree.

John and Justin were left in the den watching TV. Justin found himself snuggled up against John's firm body as they joked their way through one hundred channels and nothing worth watching. He felt comfortable and safe, and that wasn't a feeling he was used to. Which was why he had declared himself crazy for being about to rock the boat.

"John?" Justin sat up a little and could have sworn that he saw a flash of disappointment on John's face. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course you can," John tried to hide his worry, he was falling and falling hard for this kid and he was more than a little concerned about what he wanted to talk about.

"You like me, don't you? In more than just a friendship way?"

John blushed a little, but nodded.

"I thought so. And the thing is, I really like you too, it's not a gratitude thing for what you've done for me, it's a 'I think you're hot, and a really nice guy' thing. Evan said I should talk to you and I kinda didn't want to because I don't want you to despise me but if there could be a thing between us I want it to start with us being honest with each other." Justin bit his lip and dared to look up, catching John's gaze which showed nothing but honesty and care. Buoyed with confidence, he continued, "and... I really need to talk about everything. Me and Evan, we've been through too much, we both know and it's horrible, it's a reminder and I don't think that's good for either of us. And I need you to know what you could be getting into, before this gets too far. I need to give you a chance to walk away."

John smiled, "I understand, and I have no intention of walking away."

"Don't make promises until you know what you're getting into." With that, John realised the seriousness of what Justin was about to tell him and stayed silent, sitting up so that he could watch the younger man as he started to speak.

"You know we were on a Nexus contract after NXT, right? Well Barrett, he told me that he personally got me a contract because they didn't want me, and that I needed to be grateful. I was so naïve, I believed him, especially after Daniel Bryan got fired. At the start it was just him, and he wasn't too rough or cruel, and I could handle it, you know? Then he just got this power trip going on, and he'd start taking out his frustrations on me, and when I couldn't handle that he got more and more... I don't know, nasty I guess. He'd threaten me with letting the rest of Nexus go at me, so I let him do whatever he wanted... but then that wasn't enough, and I ended up where they'd all just do whatever they wanted to me. I never wanted it but I wasn't strong enough to say no. And even if I did, they just took what they wanted anyway. It went on and on... I know this sounds horrible but when he started going after Evan, things got a bit easier for me. He'd still use me and pass me to the rest of Nexus, but less often, you know?"

Justin took a breath, and John took the opportunity to ask the one question that had been one his mind right through Justin's speech, "why did you stay?"

Justin knew that question would be close on John's lips, "this job is my dream. What would I have without it?"

"But to put yourself through that..."

"John, believe me, I've asked myself a million times was it worth it, what was I thinking? Knowing what I know now? It wasn't. But then, I had nothing."

"And now?"

"And now I know I couldn't go back to that. I would never go back to him. This job isn't worth the pain and humiliation."

"I'm going to fucking tear him limb from limb, and the rest of Nexus with him," John stood up and started pacing, "that freaking rapist, bastard, I swear to god I'll make him pay." He stopped for a second to look at Justin, "you do realise that was what it was, right?"

Justin's eyes widened, "but I never said no."

"And you never wanted it either. Angel, I know you told me that because you wanted to give me a chance to walk away, well believe me I'm going nowhere and I swear to god I'll hurt him for ever hurting you." John knelt at Justin's side.

"So what are you saying?"

"I wanna be with you Justin, if you're still interested."

"I'm not gonna be easy, I've told you all this now because I've got confidence and I don't know when I'm going to fall apart again, and god I don't know if you'd ever want me in that way and if you didn't I can understand why and to be honest I don't know when I'll be ready," Justin barely took a breath and it was only a finger pressed to his lips that stopped his speech.

"I wanna be with you, and if you fall apart I'll be here, and you're beautiful and god knows I'd love to get closer to you but I can wait until you are ready. Justin you've been through some horrendous shit and I don't expect butterflies and rainbows."

The young South African closed his eyes to try to stem the tears falling from them, but it was a futile attempt. John smiled gently and brushed the tears away, pulling Justin into his arms and breathing a sigh of relief as the embrace was accepted. Part of him was still raging at what Justin had told him, but right now he was concentrating on what was in front of him, and that was a chance. A chance he needed to take.


End file.
